Dear Father,

I’ve never met you, but I’ve always wanted to be you. Raising a child was my childhood dream. Everyday, I’d see girls walk home from school with their dolls, nursing them like they were mothers. I can’t nurse, so I decided to be a father.

My mother told me being a father was easy. “Anyone can do a better job than yours,” she’d say. I’m not so sure. I’ve never met my father, so how could I compare? That doesn’t sound fair to me.

I know I was meant to be a father because I can fulfill all the required skills. First, I am male. Many people are not male. That gives me a natural advantage.

Second, I am fatherly. I do all the things that typical fathers do. I come home as late as possible, and I don’t have a job. If I keep this up, I will be a father in no time. Maybe even one as good as you.

Finally, I have a role model to look up to. Wherever you are, I know you are fathering other children just as well as me. Maybe even better. Thanks, Dad.