DEAR FEAR

Thanks for always being there. Or I don’t think I would have got anything done.

Last week a friend of mine was telling me of her fear that she won’t get to where she wants to be, that she will be a failure in her own eyes, and spend her life doing something she doesn’t truly care about. And you know what her reaction to this fear was? To stop doing anything and everything. Guaranteed success at achieving nothing; guaranteed failure.

You know that feeling you get when your to do list is so long that you just want to curl up and take a nap? This is it: it’s avoidance, it’s denial, it’s fear.

Fear can do many things to you, but too often it can stop you from doing the things you want and from living.

It’s stopped me from working, it’s stopped me from enjoying the moment, it’s stopped me from preparing for the future, it’s stopped me from questioning, it’s stopped me from being honest, it’s stopped me from being thankful for how far I’ve come, it’s stopped me from believing in myself, it’s stopped me from loving, it’s stopped me from succeeding. My fear has stopped me from living.

But instead of being scared of it, letting it overrun my life, and letting it win, I’m slowly learning that fear is in fact what’s got me this far.

Without fear I might lack drive, I’d lack something to overcome, I’d have nothing to prove. I might not have stepped out and met some really important people in my life, I might not have starting building the career that I really wanted, I might not have taken that trip that has shaped my perspective ever since.

When we face it, fear is what makes us better in our work, it pushes us to try harder, to become a better friend, to take more notice of what’s happening around us, and it gives us something to succeed in. It pushes us to be a better version of ourselves.

We all have fears; and we all have the ability to use them. Fear is not about walking away, ignoring or pretending to face our problems. Fear is about facing what we don’t like to see, and using that to drive yourself through it. You can’t get to the other side of a fear by walking around it, you must work through it.

As Teal Swan said,

“We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we think we know about the unknown.”

Don’t let your fear of what could happen make nothing happen. Imagine where you could get to if you lived without ignoring your fears? Now go on, face them, and starting working with them, not against them.

So dear Fear, thank you for being resilient and always staying with me. I’m beginning to appreciate your company.