Dig two graves

“Fetch my pistols, Tom.”

“This is a bad idea, Patrick.”

“My sister is dead, Tom, and she will be avenged.”

“Well, you know what they say. Before embarking on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”

“Damn right I’m going to dig two graves. The Coughlin twins both have it coming to them.”

“No, that’s not what… Best dig three graves then.”

“No need. John Coughlin was killed outside Juarez last year. There’s only two of them left.”

“Look, it’s just a saying. It means you’re going to get killed seeking revenge.”

“Well that doesn’t make sense. What would be the point of digging all the graves here? The Coughlin twins are over in Abilene. I’m not dragging them all the way back home. And I wouldn’t want to be buried next to them, I want to be buried next to my sister. And I sure as hell don’t want them buried anywhere near my sister!”

“I suppose that’s true. Well then, before embarking on your journey of revenge, dig a grave next to your sister just in case, then when you get to Abilene, dig two more graves. And leave some money with the stagecoach so they can bring you back if you aren’t able to make it back under your own steam.”

“Stagecoaches don’t run on steam. Do you mean the train?”

“Fine. Leave some money with the Abilene station master for a train ticket.”

“The railroad isn’t complete yet. The stagecoach would be a better option. And you know what? Their family can dig their graves. Don’t see why I should put the effort in. And can we hold off on digging my grave until I’m dead? Y’know, YAGNI and all that. Stay agile. This whole dig two graves thing sounds like the Waterfall approach, and you know how that usually works out. I mean, look at the railroad.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one who would have to dig this grave. Can I at least get a new shovel? The blade on ours is really blunt.”

“Well, that seems fair. But hold off until I’m actually dead, ok? No point wasting our capital on unnecessary infrastructure, then having to go to market at an inopportune time and risking a down round.”

“True. OK, well, I think we’re set. Good lu— ”

“Hey, I just had a thought. Instead of burying me, you could just cremate me. No need to invest in a new shovel prematurely. And you could probably sell my ashes to Soylent and use the money as a bridge until Q4.”

“Now you’re just being absurd, Patrick.”

“Flamingo.”