Don’t look for your better “half”.

Try someone “complete” instead.

I’ve never been very good with relationships. Okay, I’ve been really bad with relationships. Not because I wasn’t putting effort into them. It was the exact opposite. I worked my ass off to make the whole damn thing work. Don’t do that face, I tried! But I guess it comes a point where you need to decide just how much more are you willing to sacrifice. When will it ever be enough? Will it all be worth it? Why is it that I get the feeling that this is just the way things are always going to be? As always, I learned the hard way…

We broke up. To put it briefly, it wasn’t the nicest of breakups. Now, when I look back at it, I guess I could have done a million things different. Did I feel bad at the moment? Of course I did. Do I feel bad now? Sometimes. I didn’t want to hurt anybody then. I don’t want to hurt anybody now. Guilt. Not my cup of tea.

Being alone has its upsides, though. It puts you into perspective. Back to square one, as they say. So, what next? I have to admit my critical mind always gets the better of me. I shouldn’t be planning how these things work! Nevertheless, I found myself thinking back and trying to see where did it all go wrong (The hell I’m going through that all over again!). To be honest, it was really hard to pinpoint. We seemed like we could really be meant for one another. My better half. We had so much in common. Actually, now that I think about it, we did have the same taste in quite a lot of things. Isn’t that weird?

Anyways, I spent the first few months of my new life as I had spent the first months of my old one: alone. Not really expecting anything. Getting used to living in a new city. Adapting myself to life back at school. Managing to find a decent job. In short, with lots of stuff going on. This is, however, the unexpected time when I met someone. It’s amazing how by just walking through a cold winter night, you can really get to form a connection. That’s how I felt at least. It was strange, though. We didn’t have much in common. Hell, we barely had anything in common! Yet there was something that made me feel different. So after a few ups and downs, we have managed to form a relationship out of it. It’s working. Why is that? We couldn’t possibly be more different from one another. But for whatever reason, it’s actually working. So, here’s my theory:

We are complete individuals. We are not looking for complements because we are already a whole. Different from one another, but complete nonetheless.

Now, if you think about it, you always hear people saying that they are on the look for their “soulmate”. Eh, what’s that even suppose to mean in the first place? Someone exactly like you? I thought I had found someone like me. It didn’t work for that very reason. We both made up equal halves of a complete whole. Only halves. That’s why the relationship suffered when one of us faltered. The fact that we shared so much in common meant that we never really get the chance to learn much from one another. I’ve come to the realization that the beauty of being with someone is sharing and discovering new things. Things that you wouldn’t normally think of doing. Things that make each of you unique.

You are not only getting to know someone else, you are getting to know yourself.

So, now I find myself not being with my better half. It’s okay. I’m with someone complete. And, I’m finally happy because of it.