How Robin Williams Taught Me the Meaning of “Idiosyncrasy”
And how it helped me understand one of the hardest parts in life I’ve struggled with.
I’ll get this out of the way first and tell you this was written the same week as his death. Normally I don’t sympathize for celebrity deaths, but Williams’ death struck me. Or maybe it wasn’t necessarily Williams’ death, but more the reason behind it — the illness I shared with him. But his illness has been talked about in other, more well-explained articles on medium. The only thing I have to say about William’s death in this article is it inspired me to write this story and months of deciding against it. (And of course, that I hope he rests in peace)
“Idiosyncrasy” isn’t really a word used in every day life, and I was never a reader until very recently, so although I’ve heard the word throughout my life, it was usually during a dull english class, where instead of listening to these definitions I was thinking of the girl beside me and how sweet of a girl she was and how nice her legs looked crossed together with only a schoolgirl uniform skirt to cover the upper thigh. I knew she liked me too.
I never asked her out, though. For that matter, I never made the effort to hang out with her either, even just as friends. I had a crush on her but I was afraid of what others would think of me if I asked her out. That was my mistake. I was shallow enough to judge one of her noticeable idiosyncrasies. She was pretty, but there was something about her imperfect smile and twitch that made me worry. It made me think “People are going to care, and this is what matters the most”. I never ended up asking her out. That was in high school. We’re now both in university in different cities. I have a feeling we will never see each other again.
I was never really into movies either, until about a year ago. To me, they were just stories with no meaning because they’re fake and a waste of time. But then I saw a shrink because of my depression, where we eventually came to the conclusion that I was overly pragmatic, and I sought meaning everywhere I went. So as a sort of therapy for myself I made a goal to watch one fictitious movie a week to help me realize the answers to life’s big questions do not always need to be pondered on during all spare time.
That is why it came as a pleasant surprise when I found a specific scene in Good Will Hunting that gave me the best answer, the best meaning, to a big question I’ve struggled with my whole life.
I chose my title to this article carefully. Idiosyncrasy has a meaning, which according to Webster’s Dictionary is “an unusual way in which a particular person behaves or thinks”. But with this word used in the title, there is another connotation to it. Through Robin Williams and the writer of this specific scene in Good Will Hunting, I learned the true meaning of why idiosyncrasies exist.
The girl I crushed on in high school had an idiosyncrasy which made me like her even more. She has a peculiar and noticeable twitch that might make others say she is unattractive, but with the help of Robin Williams I realized I made a huge mistake by letting her pass me by. This particular idiosyncrasy made me realize two things: One, I passed on the (im)perfect girl for me — the one I may have been imperfect for and who may have been imperfect for me, and two, words have meaning in dictionaries, but more important meanings in real life.
I have slight anxiety about whether or not I will ever find the right girl for me. Thanks to Robin Williams, I now know I am no longer looking for the perfect girl, but the perfect girl for me.
