“I wish I was gay, then life would be easier.” — Yes, that is an actual quote. Though not from me, of course. But the more astonishing part? I’ve had the misfortune of hearing this classy little line from more than one person.

I’m not talking about a light-hearted joke. I’ve heard my fair share of those. At the right moment, given the proper atmosphere, it can be worthy of a small laugh. Unfortunately, with the case of this particular statement, it was genuine. Because, apparently, dealing with the hardship of a heterosexual relationship with a woman is just too much to bear. The kind of person who would earnestly have such wishful thinking as this, is clearly not the kind of guy to be at fault for whatever horrible situation he’s in. (Perhaps he may even be one of these “nice guys” we always hear about?) And yes, those last three sentences were sarcasm. (Hint: There’s more!)

Maybe I am being too defensive. Perhaps I am misguided. Maybe all those people, man or woman, who would really feel more comfortable with living the life of a homosexual in modern times are right. Maybe the quarrels they deal with are worth the costs of being gay. Costs that include, but are not limited to…

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Facing the fear of distinguishing between straight & gay people as viable candidates for a relationship. Because, well, you just can’t go up to people & ask them if they’re gay.

Not even knowing where to start to look for a partner- because if you’re not into gay bars or dating websites (if those are even regionally accessible to you), it’s still not part of a “cultural norm” to approach someone of the same sex in a flirtatious way anywhere else.

Dealing with the shunning of a mass variety of religious groups, despite how loyal you have been to the faith & its community. (Or even if you have nothing to do with them at all.)

Being physically & verbally abused at any time, any where, simply for your taste in gender.

Handling the “coming out to my parents” situation. Never mind coming out to the rest of your family. And friends. And the whole of society.

Not being able to visit certain countries out of sheer terror for the way they blatantly treat the openly LGBT with beatings & imprisonment.

Having to constantly watch what you say or do at work, school or with friends for worry of being “caught” or “found out”.

Responding (or not) to ignorant questions & assumptions from the general public.

Being constantly bombarded with sexualized advertisements everywhere that gratuitously promote “normal, straight sex” & partnership while rarely ever using that risqué belligerence with same sex partners. (And if they do, it’s often removed or debated upon for months.)

Choosing between living your life or living the life society wants you to live.

Having no choice in the way you are, despite everyone telling you it’s wrong.

Going out in public with the person you love, without being able to so much as hold their hand without taking a huge risk.

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I don’t think I have to tell you, that this is a small list of an even bigger sheet of things to worry about. (Especially if we consider the living situations of less modernized countries.) The point is, no matter how far society has come, it still isn’t far enough. We have not come to a point in which every, or even most, gay or lesbian people can live their lives openly & freely. Omitting speech & action is still a part of their every day life, or they have to deal with consequences. For now, there is no such thing as a LGBT person living their life 100% comfortably. Even those who choose to go all out, still likely have to deal with all kinds of negative feedback every day. Nothing about it is easy. It’s just gotten a little less hard.

And if you’re still not convinced, well, you’re still just wrong. Whether you’re tired of dealing with the naggy girlfriend or the unfaithful boyfriend, it has nothing to do with their genitals. Sorry. That’s just human nature. Sometimes, we suck. I promise you, there are just as many disappointing relationships to be had on both sides of the sexuality spectrum. And as we know of it right now, the gay population is a lot smaller than that of the straight population. So have fun with your even slimmer pickings.

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“My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.”

- W. Somerset Maugham

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