Lessons in life from Irrfan Khan
I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a CNN notification that Irrfan Khan, the Bollywood Icon, was dead. The skies had opened up last night, as if signaling the bad news that was to follow.
During this pandemic, when we have all lost so much — freedom to move, to see our friends, to hug, to go to school, to pray together, to work — grief has become a part of our being. The news of Irrfan’s passing, though not entirely unexpected, felt like the crystallization of that sense of loss. The fact that he wasn’t able to be at his mother’s funeral, who passed away 4 days before him, due to India’s COVID shutdown made this news even more poignant.
As I explained the news of Irrfan’s death to my children, I reminded them of movies like Life of Pi, Jurassic Park, Piku, Hindi Medium that they might recall seeing him in. I told them about how he had navigated parallel Indian and International movie careers, more successfully than anyone else from his generation. But somehow, that did not feel adequate to express the sense of loss that I felt, that millions of others spoke of in heartfelt obituaries over social media. I thought about what made Irrfan special. More than his enigmatic smile, his hooded, expressive eyes, his lanky grace, his captivating voice, it was his authenticity that was his greatest gift to his generation and the generations to follow.
He embraced and celebrated his middle class origins, his accent, his non-Bollywood looks. He continued to be himself without an ounce of exaggeration or embarrassment. Instead of trying to painstakingly create an image that the audience might fall in love with, he worked hard to bring the characters he played to life. Whether he played a creep following a middle class housewife, a clan warrior, a track and field star turned dacoit, an immigrant father trying to instill a sense of identity in his son, a billionaire dinosaur park owner or a boy stranded on a boat with a tiger, he always made sure you walked out of the theater thinking about the character and not Irrfan Khan the star.
He paved the way for a generation of talented actors who did not conform to what a typical Indian movie star should look and sound like. He made it desirable to be called an Actor, not a Hero. His elegance, his grace and his ease shone through in all his brilliant character portrayals. He stayed true to his roots, refusing to put on accents & airs to sound elite, and still, miraculously managed to transcend all labels of class and culture. Even though Irrfan’s body of work is legendary and will be appreciated for decades to come, his unapologetic, kind acceptance of others and himself, is the biggest gift he gave us all.
RIP Irrfan Khan. You will be missed.
