A Word on Hatred

Phyllis Chua
The Coffeelicious
Published in
3 min readDec 25, 2015

‘Hate’ is a word so strong and yet we use it freely in our conversations. Sure, it’s no big deal because we often use it casually to convey a sense of dislike for almost anything. Dependent on the context in which it is used, we communicate multiple meanings and intentions. From the exaggerated proclamations of hate toward a certain celebrity or brand done in the spirit of playful hilarity to the upset cries of hatred in light of tragedy and conflict, of which we witness too often in armed conflict and acts of terror all around the globe, ‘hate/hatred’ is a word that has been given so much complexity and stands on par with words like ‘love’, ‘peace’ and ‘life’ in a beautiful repertoire of English vocabulary.

Although dealing with the socially and politically complex meanings of ‘hate’, for example, in ‘hate speech’ and ‘hate crimes’, would bring this piece of writing much more sophistication, I would prefer to touch on a kind of hatred I feel that is more relatable to the ordinary John/Jane/Jo.

I can say with certainty that most people find themselves experiencing an intense dislike for another person at least once in their lifetime. Hatred takes many forms. It could be an intense envy, anger or pain. It could be that heartache, like when you die a little inside every time you hear them laugh. It could even come as part of a cocktail of emotions when love and hate blends into a bittersweet concoction that ultimately intoxicates your soul.

Despite its various expressions, hatred is essentially a projection of one’s own disappointments, both at how things and how people have turned out. Little do you know, it may also be a reflection of your self-perceived inadequacy.

The happiest people in life are those who hold no hatred against another person. They are confident, self-loving, and whole. They know no hatred because there is no room for such negative preoccupation and obsession with another. Their self-worth is what makes them beautifully resilient. Like you and I, they have had people and things that disappointed them in life. However, they rise from the ashes and emerge more magnificent souls. They embrace failures, disappointments and even, betrayal, by choosing to learn, love and let live.

To hate is to allow yourself to be shackled by a hurt of the past, to be tormented by a memory of pain and to be deprived of the satisfaction of feeling complete and free.

When you restrict your vision to the scars on your arms from the wounds of yesterday, you fail to see a body that houses a soul so beautifully unique and precious. By hating, your vision becomes selective and no matter how the scars have faded and even disappeared, their existence in your mind presents a warped image of the self as hurt and inferior. This damnation to a perpetual captivity that denies you true happiness does no justice to the future self you have yet to become.

So rid yourself of hate and in doing so, free yourself. Quit looking down at those scars, and look forward at all the possibilities that lie ahead instead. Feel the freedom of your existence. Forget the hurt from yesterday, bathe in the joys of today, and embrace, with open arms, the beauty of tomorrow.

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Phyllis Chua
The Coffeelicious

“Never look down on anybody, unless you are helping them up.” - Jesse Jackson