Pursuit of Happiness

Trying to be happy is something, I feel, everyone (who isn’t blessed with inherent optimism and positivity) is working towards on a daily basis. Some do this consciously while others may not spend a lot of time looking inward on this issue. Here are a few things I’ve found to really help move in this direction.

1. Listen more. Most of our lives are spent engaging, whether it’s in coversations, emails, Facebook, emojis, whatever. Before someone has finished their sentence and those three dots subside, we’ve already got a quippy reply and that really takes away from the joy of engagement. This also helps give you a moment to think before you speak and I’m sure I don’t need to harp on how great that can be. People will always feel awkward and try to fill in silent gaps- let them deal with the awk.
2. Restaurant chain Hard Rock Cafe has a humanitarian slogan: Take time to be kind. I know everyone is constantly bombarded with “Kindness is free, sprinkle that shit everywhere” type posts from all those great people at Instagram (why are you always so happy?) but you know what, it really makes sense. There is this elevator guy in the building I work at and his job is literally to sit in the elevator, open the door, close the door, press the button, open the door, etc. For some reason I took it upon myself to smile at this guy every day I used the elevator, ask him how he was and just use that MAGICAL word Thank You. It really didn’t make a difference to my life but now when I’m running late and the door is closing, he often catches my eye and will actually hold the elevator till I get on. VIP treatment I say.
3. Move. I cannot stress this enough. Exercise=endorphins. That is all.
4. I know this is kind of hard and so over done but spend time alone. Use this to train yourself rather than see results, train yourself to first, actually choose to spend time alone. Second, engage in activities that are useful and contribute to your life. Third, start enjoying this time. This leads to so many positive things including losing that fear of not having plans on a Friday night, dealing with a break up or loss, learning things about how you operate and by default you usually spend less money and are healthier (drinking alone isn’t as fun).
5. Be patient. Don’t worry that he hasn’t texted you back, take a deep breath, shake your head (I feel by shaking my head I’m shaking up my thoughts and hiding the ones I don’t like) and just focus on something else. Stuck in traffic? Well that sucks but stop stressing and sweating and calm down. You took the wrong exit, you paid that 2.4x surge pricing (no words for my feelings towards surge pricing), you left five minutes later than usual and now you’re super late for a meeting with your boss. Sure that doesn’t look great and you’re going to have to explain yourself but now that you’re in this situation don’t panic and just let it flow. This goes for almost every aspect of your life.
6. Stop looking. I must have already spent half my life find the next love of my life. It’s great and super useless. If I’m not feeling particularly hot then we’re looking for the perfect diet, the greatest party, the coolest friends, the best job. Whatever it is honestly will come to you (if you deserve it, if karma says so and if the universe is feeling generous) usually in it’s own time. Maybe you aren’t meant to be cool and I’m being serious. Stop trying to be something you aren’t and accept what you are. Maybe you will always be single. It’s possible and maybe it isn’t the end of the world. Acceptance of your own reality is key.

7. I’m guessing this post is the most cliche thing you’ve ever read- and feel free to comment and share what you think I might need to think about before wasting 8 minutes of your time. This shit is actually more a result of happiness rather than a way to get there I find. The days I’m good, shit looks great. The weather is perfect, people are smiling, how cute is that little hosue? But when I’m not feeling it, none of this matters. Maybe we can train ourselves to change this default setting and pay attention to those lovely things around us to make us happy rather than the other way around.

Attaining this concept of ‘happy’ is something I can’t comment on but slowly, there will be moments. Moments where it kind of feels good, things kind of look right, and you’ll forget what it was like to feel any other way. Maybe it will last a few minutes but that’s a great few minutes.