Quieting the Noise

I grew up in suburban East Michigan. You know, the thumb part when a Michigander pulls out their handy-dandy hand map when you ask them where they are from. I am the youngest of three children — the only girl at that. My parents always encouraged me to be my best and to do my best.

Things came fairly easy when I was growing up. I was outgoing, I was involved in after-school activities, and I was voted gossip queen of my high school (but that’s a story for a different time).

I had EVERYTHING figured out.

In the fall of 2010, I headed off from my familiar town, head held high (because obviously I was 18 and knew everything) to the land of the Fightin’ Irish. Oh, but I went to the Christian college 6 miles down the road. It was there that I first caught a glimpse of how much I in fact did not know, but I found the greatest friends, the best mentors, I also somehow got my degree after changing my major 4 times. It was also at that place where I found my wonderful husband (that’s also a story for another time).

Ahhh, NOW I had everything figured out.

But wait.

What’s next? I am 23 years old, I have been married to Aaron for 6 months, have had 3 different jobs since graduating in May of 2014, and I have a new-found love for nutrition.

What now, though? I HAVE NOTHING FIGURED OUT.

I find myself freaking out every once in a while, sometimes to the point of actually contemplating about quieting the noise around me to actually think (imagine that, actually taking time to shut up and do such a thing).

But last night, my panic was too loud. I was driving back after spending time with my family (my mom sent me back with some banging chili — thanks, mom), when I noticed the sunset over the Indiana cornfields — it was one of the most beautiful I had ever seen.

My husband, Aaron, expresses his love for Indiana sunsets regularly and I just roll my eyes — nothing is better than a sunrise over Lake Huron or a sunset over Lake Michigan.

This time I agreed with him.

I had been listening to a woman speak about asking this question: “Lord, what would you have me to do?” After she was done, music began to play and I started to have one of those freak out moments. Yep, while driving and the sun was setting. Great.

I decided to compose myself. I shut the radio off and looked at the pink, orange, and fading blue that was cast across the Indiana sky.

Tears began to well up in my eyes.

I have been sitting stagnant for so long and not asking God what he wants me to do.

I have been angry by the fact that laundry gets piled up so quickly, I get frustrated when my WiFi does not work, I have not been living up to what God is trying to get through to me.

But what is that exactly?

I graduated high school. I went to college. I finished college. I got married. But what now?

You know, I have absolutely no clue. What I do know for sure though is this:

It is alright not to know, but it is not alright to live stagnant. So I am putting this out there, not to boost my ego but for accountability.

I am asking this right now: “Lord, what would you have me to do?”

So I encourage you today — in the midst of life’s craziness and distractions — turn off the radio, look at the sunset, and breathe.

It’s okay that I don’t have it figured out. It’s okay that you may not have it figured out either.

Just stop living life in stagnancy and quiet the noise. We are in this together.