Remember: You Chose This

I’ve been working as a freelance writer for over a year. I get to work on my own projects, help clients launch their books and speeches, and connect with world-changers. Among all the people with whom I’ve worked there’s one thing people who succeed have in common. They choose every step of their journey.

Everyone knows to expect inevitable bumps, the proverbial obstacles and challenges on the path to pursing their dreams. The real test comes when the rubber meets the road.

Sure, I can endure rejection from writer’s conferences or a dismal number of “likes” for something I published. Sure, I can endure the menial tasks required to do this work, even when I don’t like them. But when someone blatantly tells me my ideas are wrong, shortsighted, or worse? No way. I didn’t choose this. I chose to be talented! I chose to be successful after a few failures! I chose to be heralded for my brilliance!

See these insidious expectations? When we’re confronted with their lack of realism, nothing more than vague swirls of dust refusing to alight on any surface, we find ourselves in a pickle. We can’t choose to follow our dreams without choosing everything that comes with them, most of which is outside our control. The only promise is: there’s no safe passage.

The highs, the lows, the excitements, the doubts. It all belongs because that’s exactly how it’s unfolding. There’s no use fighting Reality. She’s one tough broad who’s just as willing to hand you a heated blanket as to throw some brass knuckles in your face.

Our position can’t be, “I’ll only follow my dreams if these conditions are met. Oh, and make sure this situation never arises.” It seems silly writing it out, but start paying attention to the little ways in which you prevent yourself from doing what your heart longs to do just because things aren’t going the way you planned. The problem isn’t that those things happened. The problem is you aren’t choosing them.

Try this: no matter what arises, no matter how much you wish it weren’t part of pursuing your dreams, say to yourself, “I chose this.” If we choose everything that happens in our lives, we take control back from external circumstances. Sure, you didn’t really choose to fall off a ladder while building your house and break your leg. Or did you? Firstly, it happened, so there’s no use resisting Reality. It will only create more suffering (remember the broad with brass knuckles?). Secondly, this is your opportunity to turn an external circumstance into something over which you do have control. Now that you’ve broken your leg, you can finally start taking those online illustration classes, and you feel inspired to pick up swimming again for rehab.

Often we fear that by “choosing” the bad, we’ll invite more of it. We’re afraid the universe will see our red capes — the ones we’d thought made us superheroes — and charge, head down, horns searching. This simply isn’t the case. It’s not like we’re illuminating an advertisement to attract misfortune. “Super Grateful For Terrible Circumstances: Vacancy!”

All we’re doing is changing our story. Instead of being victims, we choose to be captains. Instead of deciding we weren’t meant to follow our dreams because such and such happened, we’re taking our paths into our own hands, blazing forward no matter what. Success won’t come unless we let go of our conditions and expectations. It’s time we choose this path, no matter what happens, and bask in the true reward of an empowered journey. A journey filled with everything you want.