Staying in touch; Losing the feel
Has the time come when all of our emotions, feelings and sentiments are merely some binary-coded arrangements?
Today, it’s easier to turn a friend’s life upside-down who’s living on the other side of city, just by sending a text, than to go across the hall to pour yourself a glass of water. We have been communicating around our network through some easy taps on screens, use of thumbs and, of course, budget-friendly data plans. A minute through your news-feed, and you are all filled in with what’s going on with every kind of friends you have out there — even those who are way beyond the acceptable limits of annoyance, but because their unfailing likes and punctual comments are vital to our profile’s reputation, we always have to bear with them. We constantly gossip with our friends on Whatsapp, share pictures and send memes, and based on how frequently we indulge in such fulfilling activities, we rate our friendships. People run to kill each other, when their texts are read but not replied-after. Those blue ticks on Whatsapp are deadlier than a nuclear holocaust. People are pissed when their calls are missed and not returned. It doesn’t take long for us to jump to a conclusion: “I am sure, he’s avoiding me. Damn, am I being ditched?” There are over a trillion more possibilities for their unresponsiveness but our insecurity and impatience have blinded us. We measure our worth to them through the extent of their availability. We have occupied their space, shrunk our trust, breached their privacy and forgotten their individuality. The term ‘personal’ belongs to them just as much as it belongs to you.
I am not against the usage of such services, I use them just as much as you do. But I defy to judge my friends’ loyalties on the basis of their digital attachment to me. I am fine with not being responded back, even if my pile of texts stales in their inboxes for months, as long as they’re alive, breathing and keeping themselves out of a drug-lord’s trunk. For me hanging out with them for an hour is more precious than a month-long texting. It is more valuable to see them smile in real than to receive thousands of their emoticons. It is lovelier to see them laugh than to receive their annoying “LOLs” and “HAHAs”. (Note to friends: I love your LOLs and HAHAs, I was just trying to make a point here. I don’t want you to revolutionize yourself and stop sending me your smileys.) When I meet them, it is a real feeling. I get the undeniable evidence of their livelihood, a non-encrypted compassionate conversation, a sense of being in the moment and, of course, a pleasure of seeing their real-time expressions. There’s no match to the fun it becomes, there’s no match to the experience it becomes.
Let’s work on building trust, fostering patience, respecting circumstances and becoming more friendly. Your friendship is represented by the actions of your hearts, not by the activities of your SIM-card. I know, there are people who ignore us deliberately because they lack interest. There are people whose priority-lists don’t feature us, even at the bottom. But what can we do? They’re at liberty to customize their priorities their way and form interests based on their liking, because they’re not robots or PlayStation devices which can be owned, they’re humans. The best I can do is be nice, patient and at peace with my lack of worthiness. Is it really hard to accept your shortcomings? It could be, but once you embrace it, everything gets easier.
What’s your take?
