Tara’s 5 Year Plan : Don’t Die… Live

Most people with Grade 3 brain tumours survive between 2–5 years. After going through awake brain surgery a couple of weeks ago, it has been confirmed my wife Tara’s tumour is Grade 3. Weirdly, we’re reasonably happy with the outcome.

First, things could be worse. Grade 4 cancers are more aggressive and come with a much shorter lifespan attached. So, we’re not in that camp just yet. Also, the surgery was quite successful. Around 70–80% of the tumour has been removed, including the parts which were showing up as the most worrisome in terms of growth on MRI scans. That’s an amazing result. We originally thought they’d get maybe 50%. But, the surgeon Kate Drummond smashed it, and so did Tara. Awake brain surgery normally lasts about 45 minutes because patients get too tired. Tara lasted 2.5 hours! She tested well throughout, so the surgeon kept doing her job. Another positive is that pathology analysis of the tumour shows there are molecular markers present, which mean chemo and radiotherapy should be much more effective, if we decide to go ahead with that kind of treatment. When you bundle these factors together, along with Tara’s otherwise good health, strength and youth, she should be on the longer side of the 5 year prognosis. It’s also not uncommon for people with Grade 3’s to survive up to 15 years. There are even good old statistical ‘outliers’, who defy the odds to make 2–5 years look pitiful. One patient of Tara’s surgeon’s has been living with a Grade 4 tumour for the last 18 years. Her secret? “She concentrates on raising her kids instead of being sick.”

Taking all of this into consideration, and without being delusional about it, we think Tara still has a good chunk of life left. What would be delusional is thinking that Tara isn’t going to die at some point. We all are (unless you’re a vampire or a zombie, and then you’re simply undead) . There is so much to learn, do and achieve in 5+++ years, including helping our boys grow up. The fact of the matter is, when Tara was first diagnosed with cancer five years ago (a sexy Grade 2 tumour then), we rearranged our lives so we were happy with what our main focusses were and went about ticking off the big bucket list. We travelled Europe in a van together, she went on an all-girls surf trip to the Maldives, we resettled in West Oz, embarked on new careers and generally spent lots of time with each other, friends and family, instead of slogging away doing things we didn’t really care too much about. Oh, and we had two kids. So, we’re well positioned to enjoy at least the next 5 years of time, making sure we squeeze as much LIFE in there as possible.

The immediate focus is getting Tara fit after surgery. Her speech is an issue. When someone cuts an apple-sized chunk out of your brain, things like talking can be pretty tough. But, she’s making good progress and with some therapy should be as good as new in a few months. After that it’s looking at the next course of treatment. We have our plan set out and a determination to get her well. It’s all about focussing on living, rather than dying. Tara’s biggest goal is to make our son Kai’s 21st birthday. He’s currently 3 months old.

I would encourage anyone who reads this to think this New Years: I am going to die. Not today, hopefully not tomorrow, but at some point. If you truly acknowledge that, perhaps you’ll shift a few things around in your life as well, and not take a cancer diagnoses to do it. Put a five year plan together, and make sure not dying is on the top of the list.