The Apartment of Your Dreams
Why It’s Okay to Push That Dream Off For a Bit
Your first apartment is probably one of the most common dreams shared by people across America. Whether it’s a spacious 2 bedroom loft with a perfect view of the beach or even just a small studio close to the train, you probably spend a good chunk of your life wanting it. And why not?
It represents freedom and independence (eagles cry out in the distance). The freedom of getting out from under your parent(s). The freedom to make your own decisions like: What neighborhood you want to stay in (being upstairs from your favorite bar may sound like a good decision for a Saturday night, as long as you’re ready for no sleep and the constant smell of booze the rest of the week) to something as small as what color soap dispenser you need in the bathroom (don’t knock it, I once spent an embarrassingly long amount of time trying to find the perfect shade of light brown to match my new shower curtain).
I got my first apartment at 22 after spending roughly 2 years saving up for it. It’s big. The sun shines too bright through the windows, it’s too hot in the summer, I don’t know who designed the kitchen because compared to the rest of the space, it’s tiny; but damn is it mine. I get to come home at the end of the day and lay there and no one can tell me different. I got lucky and was given a non-stressful environment in which to focus on saving money, writing, working, and school, but not everyone gets that opportunity.
One of the biggest arguments I have with one of my best friends is that they take having your own apartment as a sign of maturity (which in a way, it is), but also takes not having one as a sign of not.
It used to be that moving out was a pivotal moment that you had to do (probably around the college age) to prove that you were an adult. That’s no longer the economy we live in. There was a study done by the National Low Income Housing Coalition that showed that there is no state where you can afford a one bedroom while working 40 hours/a week at minimum wage.
I pay Xxx a month for my apartment. Including rent, utility, and insurance, that’s roughly 2/3rds of my paycheck; and along with bills, food, transport, etc, I don’t have much left. Now imagine you also need to pay for school? Short of selling your organs on the black market, (wow kidneys go for a lot. You could be set for years), money’s gonna be tight and that’s IF you can afford it. Living at home is a way to save money, and it’s become more and more acceptable.
I have friends that can’t afford their own place. It’s not that they don’t work or go to school, it’s that they can’t afford it by themselves. “Oh, so get a roommate!” they shout (stop that, it’s rude). Finding a reliable roommate is difficult, especially considering you’re trusting them with copaying usually a year’s worth of rent along with access to your stuff. Is my friend not a mature person because he stays home and saves his money for the future?
This nonsense is only in America. Anywhere else it’s okay to live at home, in some cultures, encouraged. I’m not leaving home till I’m married and my parents don’t expect me to! — A hispanic friend
My girlfriend had her own apartment during school and moved back home to save money. She’s happy being with them and it allows her to spend money on the things she wants as well as save for school. Sometimes that’s a hard decision to make. After being out of my mom’s sight for over a year, I had to move back when my apartment plans fell through.
I felt like a failure. I’d spent so much time saving money, I had all the requirements to get a good apartment and yet here I was once more. Going back home after you’ve tasted freedom can definitely be a blow to the pride, but in all honesty it shouldn’t be. Why is your own apartment a measurement of your success when it’s draining you financially? It can become its own burden when you can’t do the things you want because you have to worry about rent month after month. Pride shouldn’t dictate you living off ramen noodles week after week when home means a home cooked meal (definitely a healthy alternative).
Knowing when you can’t do it by yourself isn’t failing, it’s making a decision not to put undo stress on yourself. Having parents that allow you to stay or come back in the nest is great, and if you still need some way to feel that same responsibility or you just need practice getting ready for that big move,pay rent. You’d be surprised how much paying rent acclimates you in the future, even if you’re used to paying bills regularly. It helps you get into the mindset of not just being at home.
So regardless of your situation, if you’re not in your own apartment right now, don’t feel down. Keep dreaming and just appreciate it when it happens!
