The Art of Flirting
How are we supposed to flirt?
Are you supposed to be coy or playful?
Am I supposed to be nice or nonchalant?
Can I be too nice? Can I be too nonchalant?
If you’re too playful will I find you less girly and more cool, like a cool girl friend? What is less girly? What is a cool girl? Don’t guys and girls fuck their friends sometimes? Is being a friend that bad? Is sharing a platonic bond and good conversations that bad?
Is too coy a sign of prudence or caution or just a personal moral code? Is there a way I am supposed to feel about one or another?
If I’m too playful is that being too aggressive?
Should you laugh at my jokes even if they aren’t funny?
Should I do the same?
Are we assholes if we don’t? Are we now considered, “not interested” if we don’t? What if I am interested, am I not allowed to find everything you say not funny? What if you’re not funny, but I’m still interested, is that not allowed?
How am I supposed to read your body language? If you sit near me is that a sign that you like me or that the place is crowded? If you lean in to talk to me am I to think, OK she’s feeling me, or is the place just really loud?
If you touch me is that a sign? Are you telling me you’re interested in me as possibly more than a friend, are you considering having sex with me? Are you just a touchy feely type of person? Maybe you were just trying to get my attention?
Do I read your body language to see if it’s OK to touch you? But what’s the, it’s OK to touch, body language move? Where are the “I like you” spots compared to the “friend zone” spots? Is there a difference? How many touches before I go from, he likes me, to, fucking creeper? What if my respect for women makes me want to not make them feel creeped on that I don’t touch at all because I can’t figure out the touch policy, am I out of the running to get to know her more, am I not interested if I don’t touch?
Should you pretend to like things cause I like them?
Should I do the same?
Doesn’t that make us semi-fake versions of ourselves?
Is that what flirting is? To pretend? To not be unquestionably true to oneself?
Am I to leave the house waving a white flag of defeat to being me? Is the quest to meet an interesting girl a solemn agreement to be less me and more someone the potential girl seems to want me to be? Is she to do the same?
Is this why most relationships cannot sustain themselves but only a few months, nature taking its course, you needing to be you more than what the other person wanted you to be? And when your real selves can no longer hide you find that you don’t actually have much in common?
What if I don’t like selfies or Twitter or Facebook? What if I don’t have an Instagram? Am I now a leper? An undesirable because I don’t revel in social media?
Is this the game we’re forced to play?
Are we all to be amateur actors auditioning for the affection of others?
What if I don’t want to play this game?
Why can’t we just be ourselves?
Why can’t you be you and me, me?
Why is it not OK to not have chemistry and walk away being fine with that?
Why can’t I walk up and just say, I like the symmetry of your face and you look interesting, can I get your number and find out?
If you liked this then go ahead and tap that heart green.
first published on… fuckingfamous.org
