The Game of Lords
A politic’s life is a hide-and-seek game
Earlier this week a piece of news emerged reporting that a British politician — a Lord, no less — was caught snorting cocaine with prostitutes. Given his title, the only surprising thing about this tale was that he wasn’t doing opium. Nevertheless, this Tuesday Lord Sewel resigned from the House of Lords, giving the case renewed and now legitimate interest.
A bit of context always keeps the readers going for one or two more paragraphs, so here’s what the Wikipedia says about Lord Sewel:
John Buttifant Sewel, Baron Sewel, Commander of the Order of the British Empire (born 15 January 1946) is a British politician, life peer, and former academic. He was the Chairman of Committees of the House of Lords, its deputy speaker. He is also a former senior vice principal of the University of Aberdeen and former parliamentary Under-Secretary of State.
Now, claiming knowledge of His Lordship’s feats in office would be a farcical action by this columnist. It suffices to say that the quick research above revealed his most notable accomplishment as being the reestablishment of the Scottish parliament, a bill informally called the Sewel motion (which in turn is pretty funny since now the 69-year old is being treated by the tabloids as a sex maniac).
Outside his public persona, Lord Sewel’s biggest accomplishment had been keeping his private affairs private for so long.
Because nobody starts to use cocaine recreationally at the age of 69. This is more likely to happen in the early 20s, with the first hardships of adult life. It might also begin at around 40, when motivation is difficult to find. Perhaps even when approaching the big 60, with the sudden realisation that life’s first two-thirds are gone. But not when the guy is just one year away from being called senile by his very own white-haired peers.
That leads to one single conclusion: all this time Lord Sewel’s mischievousness had been properly done or overlooked by interests. Isn’t that what being a good politician is all about? They spend their whole career hiding and then they run while they still have the energy. When Mom is about to call home for dinner all they want is to be caught so they can go home.
This is the end of a lifelong hide-and-seek game for Lord Sewel. He can now retire in peace.
You know a man is a Lord when he presents his resignment letter with resigned elegance:
The question of whether my behaviour breached the code of conduct is important, but essentially technical,” Lord Sewel wrote. “The bigger questions are whether my behaviour is compatible with membership of the House of Lords and whether my continued membership would damage and undermine public confidence in the House of Lords.
I believe the answer to both these questions means that I can best serve the House by leaving it.
I hope my decision will limit and help repair the damage I have done to an institution I hold dear. Finally, I want to apologise for the pain and embarrassment I have caused.
You know the same man is a politician when he makes no mention to his wife and four children after a scandal with prostitutes and coke.
