The Idealism and The Realism
Here we are. Laying on the grass in a warm summer night, staring at the stars. It’s the end of a hot day, the night is chilly, but not nearly cold enough to make us drag our ass inside the house. Not a lot of lights around us, the stars are up, the moon is shining, warm wind is blowing, and the trees make a calming “white noise” in the background.
The mind drifts away, fueled by the magic of the moment and the strange inner fulfillment. Dreams and wishes occupy the conscious surface, gently tangling between themselves they lay down our life in front of us… All it’s scenarios and realities that we want to be, all that we will do, all that we would explore and learn! Everything seems so simple and doable. We see life and the universe as we want to see it. No law of physics or social dogma dares to stand in our way! Plans are made, memories are are relived and intensified, any hypothetical challenges we overcome in a swiftly manner. Then we pack up our bouquet of emotions, and go back inside to lay in our comfortable bed, wind-down and go to sleep…
And eventually we wake up in the morning, and it’s time to do the real deal. And life is the real deal. It is not constantly as nearly magical or fulfilling. No background music plays while we walk through the park or drive to work, and it’s not that special, not even when we go on that travel that we looked forward to for months. No… Life just is. The universe just is… The stars don’t always align and make the perfect view when we climb that mountain. The people on the street don’t greet us and behave hysterically happy when they see us. The relationship with girl that we went out few times, most likely won’t transform into anything more than few nights together, medium alcoholic intoxication and some good times. And this is not a bad thing. How we perceive it and experience it all is up to us.
Very often in the past I found myself struggling to find the balance between my idealism and the world’s realism. Things that I expected, didn’t always happen. Thanks to my built-in introvert personality, I always preferred to lock myself in my imaginary world and live there… alone… where everything was still possible and happening as I wanted it to be! No deviations, or unpleasant surprises. The world had no say in my plans! As expected this is not a very fulfilling way to live. The world between four walls is only so big… it’s not infinite… not even my super-duper imagination could expand on that!
It was only later in life when I grew up a bit, and fell out of my crib of imagination, when I started perceiving things for what they are… and not what I want them to be. There is a fine line of balance to walk between the idealism and realism, and tipping on either side is not very healthy and smart to do.
What I’ve learned during the past few years is to make these two things work in harmony. While different at first glance, I think they are surprisingly complementary to one another.
The universe, the world, life just is. It exists now, it existed before us, and will continue to do so long after we are gone. The world doesn’t revolve around us, and no prophecy foretold our birth, and no bearded old man gave us a magic sword to wield it in the name of destiny. No. We are not that special, no matter how painful is to admit it. And that’s actually the beauty of it. We are free and able to do whatever the hell we want to do, and at the end of the day nobody will care that much.
When I lifted my mental barriers and preconceptions, I was surprised at the shallowness of life at first. However as I grew, I found this openness free of constant expectations, and extreme feelings (good or bad) to be liberating. Traveling somewhere without actually planning or expecting something to happen, rather keeping a blank canvas in my mind ready to be painted with experiences and memories, was the wisest thing I’ve done in years. Dropping my social defenses and behavioral patterns installed by society, made me meet some wonderful people, and have great adventures… And surprise, surprise, I didn’t expected, planned or fantasied about any of these things. I just decided on a direction that I want to head out in life, a notion of the way that I want to live by (far more suitable to change), and charged forward. I left more and more room for the unknown. Of course, it’s not all rainbows and unicorns, by far. There is approximately the same amount of confusion, loneliness, melancholy and all of those things… But what good will be one without the other? How will I learn to appreciate the good times, if I never have the not so good times to begin with? How will I learn to be happy if I never shed a tear?
At the end of it all, I see idealism as the fuel that gives us the energy to boldly push forward in life. It is the long-term navigator that makes sure we head out in the right direction, and pursue what we really want! Idealism is that magic night in the garden with the stars, while realism is the morning after. In the meanwhile realism is the one that makes sure we don’t drift away, and end up stranded somewhere locked between four walls, with only our mind and imagination to keep us alive… Realism makes us perceive things for what they are, and build with the idealism on how we can improve the same. It also makes sure that we don’t end up 67 years old, alone, in diapers, reading Harry Potter for the 12th time, and still fantasizing about hooking up with Hermione.
While idealism and realism together, are us getting up on that space ship after years of hard work… and sailing onward into space!
