Instagram & Like: the only like that matters.

I’ve posted a new Instagram photo. It’s been 15 minutes and 22 likes. But the one like I really want is from B.

There’s that odd space, early in a relationship when you’ve ended things because of unforeseen complications — it’s just too early to deal with the mess. And, you leave things open. But, with conditions. It’s one of those times where it’s socially acceptable to take someone back because you never really had them.

30 minutes and 34 likes. Nothing yet.

Usually, you’d move on after a minor chocolate/ice cream binge. But, you haven’t met someone that makes you feel this high in a long time. That person is clearly your drug of choice. But, you know you shouldn’t take a hit while you’re trying to recover, that you should move on.

It’s now been 1 hour, and there are 52 likes…still no sign of B.

You’re no longer messaging on a regular basis because you chose not to risk wading through the swamp of complexities. So, that like makes you feel connected; you feel that person’s presence. It gives you a temporary high. But, you know you did the right thing cutting ties, everyone around you nodding in support.

2 hours, 72 likes. Silence.

And you’ve gone on a few dates since you ended things. The dates only made you long for your drug of choice more. And you long for, dream about really connecting with this person again. But, you’ll settle for an Instagram like.

3 hours, 81 likes. Does he even check his phone?

You have plans with friends that thankfully prevent your mind from wandering back to the post and that one like you want to secure.

22 hours, 189 likes. There he is.

Relief. Connected, even if briefly.

Originally written: 3/5/2017