The Road to Self-Publishing is Paved With … Perfectionism, Procrastination and a Whole Lot of Baby Steps.
Suddenly it felt real. This is actually happening and not just the way is has happened in my head 7342 times before. I just sent my first manuscript to a professional editor. And for some reason THIS is the moment, the pressing send on that terrifying, here-we-go email is the moment it all felt real.
I’ve been writing (and talking about writing) my book for the last couple of months. I’ve already sent copies to a couple of grammar ninja friends. Because, you know, as a writer *ahem author* your brain does this thing where it automatically fills in what you meant to say. Imaginatively rearranging those black letters and errant commas into the spaces and phrases they were supposed to go.
But sending it off to a REAL editor (and paying for it to be properly edited and formatted) this means I’m actually doing it. Even if it flops. Even if the only person who buys my book is my Mom (thanks in advance Mom) I’m doing this.
The whole process has been a whirlwind. I spent about a week doing research. Then 3 weeks writing the rough draft. Then another 5 weeks self-editing (perfectionism’s a bitch, what can I say?). Actually, perfectionism and getting stuck in self-editing mode is fear…but that sounds like another article.
I even joined Self-Publishing School to help navigate the complicated waters of Amazon algorithms in hopes that a newbie author like me might actually be able to sell more than 10 copies. And my book might have the hopes of ranking high enough to actually be found. I’ll let you know if it works :)
But even joining the community of supportive writers at SPS who were all making their book dreams come true still didn’t make it feel real for me. I dragged my feet. I edited more.
I designed the cover with help from a graphic designer friend of mine. I love the way it turned out. (She wishes the type had more room to breathe but you know, it has to be read from a postage stamp size on Amazon) I love that it doesn’t look like every other stuffy boring business book you’ve bought — because it isn’t. But it still didn’t feel real. Although it gave me something to actually show my friends instead of just the intangible, “So, I’m writing a book…”
Or the last 2 days I spent planning extra content for the website. Like a free worksheet. And a fun interactive quiz. And, of course, building the damn site which isn’t finished yet. Nothing brings out my simmering perfectionist rage-monster like building a website. Which is why I write copy for websites and don’t build the damn things. Also, why isn’t The Grid ready yet?
And the list of things I STILL have to do before this book even has a chance at being successful (and I can hit the publish button — which I’m envisioning as silver, shimmering and playing some sort of hallelujah-esque music) is stretching out for miles in front of me! Okay, well, if it were a physical list at least to the other side of the kitchen. In reality, my Trello has a massive scroll bar.
Maybe it’s the fact that my book is starting to cost me money and the only way to make it back is to move forward. Maybe it’s the act of handing it over to a stranger to be judged (which has a certain kind of stomach, twisting agony to it). But, whatever the reason, publishing my book JUST GOT REAL.
And it feels…exciting in an I-just-threw-up-a-bit-in-my-mouth sort of way. And nothing feels more real than that.
