Three Billy Goats Not So Gruff
What had been a lush green field was now a barren wasteland. The mud was broken up with dead or dying foliage, nothing edible was left. The field lay on one side of a valley, a valley separated by a beautifully clear calm river. The other side was filled with vibrant vegetation which overflowed onto the river bank.
The barren wasteland came into being as the result of the greed of three Billy Goat brothers. They ate as much as they wanted, when they wanted and with little thought of the consequences. With their stomachs not being as full, their mind wandered to how they could get their next fill. The answer was obvious, cross the river and settle into the field beyond.
Luckily for them, there was an old cobblestoned bridge joining the two fields. The youngest of the brothers decided to cross and try his luck.
As he approached the bridge he removed his phone from his pocket and took a selfie of himself and the bridge. He posted it on Twitter with the message “time for my next adventure.” He pocketed his phone and trotted onto the bridge.
Clippity clop, clippity clop rang out his hooves as he trotted over the stones.
Beep, beep. He stopped before he even reached halfway. He had a notification for a response on Twitter. The message read:
@horribleGeezer “you stink. You’re sooo skinny. I bet you are thick too.”
The young goat was shocked but immediately responded, “go away you silly fool”.
He put his phone back in his pocket and continued on his way.
Clippity clop, clippity clop.
Beep, beep.
Another message stopped his progress.
@horribleGeezer “I’m going to kill you.”
The young goat got scared and ran back to his brothers.
“What are you doing back here?” asked the oldest brother.
“I decided it would be more respectful if I let my older brothers eat first,” he said.
The middle brother decided to try the new field. As he approached the bridge he also took a selfie of himself and the bridge and posted it on Twitter. His message read “I’m off to try out a new menu.” He pocketed his phone and trotted onto the bridge.
Clippity clop, clippity clop.
Beep, beep.
It was a response to his tweet.
@horribleGeezer “You look sooo dumb, I bet you can’t tell your grass from your yarrow.”
The middle brother immediately responded “get a life!”
He put his phone back in his pocket and continued on his way.
Clippity clop, clippity clop.
Beep, beep.
Another message stopped his progress.
@horribleGeezer “I’m going to kill you.”
The middle brother got scared and ran back to his brothers.
“What are you doing back here?” asked the oldest brother.
“I was thinking what the young ‘un said, and I agree that it would be more respectful to allow the older brother to eat first, “ he said.
“Fine,” said the older brother.
When he approached the bridge he took a selfie of himself and the bridge and posted it on Twitter. His message read “Leading by example.” He pocketed his phone and trotted onto the bridge.
Clippity clop, clippity clop.
Beep, beep.
It was Twitter.
@horribleGeezer “Are you a family of numb nuts or what?”
The older brother selected his tweet, blocked him, crossed the bridge and had a light snack. Meanwhile the younger brothers looked on bemused.
He came back across the bridge and started to erect a sign. The younger brothers ran down to join him.
The older brother looks at the other two and said “Are you coming over?”
They read the sign and jointly sang “We are.” They all went across the bridge to eat, leaving behind a sign that read “Beware: Trolls — Do not feed”
