To the young ones
Thank you.
“Your children are your elders in universe time. They have come into a more complete, more evolved universe than you or I can know. We can only see that universe through their eyes.” — Buckminster Fuller.
To whoever considers yourself young,
I’m 24 today. At this age, my mom had my older brother. A middle school classmate just invited me for his wedding. Meanwhile, like many of my twenty-something peers with the rare luck of going to a prestigious university, I too am occupied by questions like what careers to pursue, where to live, who do I want to be with etc.. (no, not finding the One)
I also wonder why on earth am I here on earth. It is not yet clear what I care about. I admire my activist friends who are passionate about causes like racial justice or inequality or environmental protection etc.. I’m trying to care more about those things, but I can’t force myself. Care must come from care, not guilt or shame.
I do ask questions though. Like “What in the world is happening in the world?” We are together in this strange troubled time, and the best thing to do is to listen closely to what’s going on in the lives of the youth. For example, the generation I belong to, the Millennials, are thinking very differently about life. We have crises earlier and more often as the script of “what is a good life” is falling apart. That’s a good thing.
Which brings me to you, dear young ones. Re-reading the quote by Bucky above reminds me that you are my greatest teachers. To that, I can only wish: please surprise me, dumbfound me, make me see the world anew. May you be the timeless source of the unfolding mystery and our timely inspiration to live on.
Haunting questions
Let’s take a moment to imagine 20 or 40 years from now. We are meeting with a group of young people a third or half of our age. The world then would be a very different place, wilder, more beautiful and perhaps more horrifying too. They are looking straight at us in the eye, asking: “What have you done to and for this world?”
No single answer then is ever sufficient for that moment. Only the totality of our lives thus far matters, as the Quaker saying “Let your life speak”.
When I imagine that scene, I feel a vital sense of purpose. I must help co-cultivate a future where we, particularly you dear young ones, can thrive. How do I help with that? What can I best give, and to where?
I don’t know the answer to those questions. But I want you to know that I’ve been asking them.
And you will too. Sooner or later, you will face with the existential questions of who you are, what your purpose in life is.
Please know that you are not alone.
That question has been asked since humans started thinking reflexively about themselves, not only with their minds but also their bodies, their hearts, their limbs. As someone who has been through a few bouts of that, let me share a few reflections.
First, this is not the end. The best is yet to come. So is the worst. Crises will happen more often. Seize that opportunity for self re-definition. You are living the question. The deeper you sink into it, the more beautiful the answer will emerge.
Second, when you think of failing, remember that there is no falling off. You are always falling into something. Sometimes it’s another story of self, other times it is the space between those stories. Comfort yourself with that uncertainty. My teacher and friend Bayo once quipped, “Failing may as well be flying without the tyranny of the coordinates”. As we are falling/flying in all dimensions, we will discover things that neither of us could ever expect, wilder than our wildest imagination and better than our best hope. I want you to remember that.
The person to develop
The best teachers set you on a path that neither of you knows what lies ahead. Often they don’t even tell you to do so. Their lives speak that message. I too have been inspired by so many of them to think, see, feel, imagine and most importantly to live life more expansively, beyond my personal concerns, beyond my own fears and doubts. I hope you meet people like them too, since none of us can do it alone.
Personal development is not just about becoming superhuman and achieving all the goals you’ve set for yourself. Parental expectation, peer pressure, overly demanding bosses etc.. all those have trained you for that already. They are probably also the source of a lot of frustration you have.
Personal development is, ironically, also about redefining what it means to be a person. It takes a willingness to enter into relationships with people and things that we don’t even yet know and let them change us.
Yes. It’s a radical leap of faith, a non-rational trust of the unknown. Before anyone can tell if it’s good or bad. It’s scary at first, then it gets paradoxically comforting. Life, if you haven’t noticed, is pretty ironic. It always gives us what we need, which often is opposite of what we want.
Which is what this Sufi poem has been telling us all along:
I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brains to work.
I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for patience and God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.
I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for favors and God gave me opportunities.
I asked for everything so I could enjoy life.
Instead, He gave me life so I could enjoy everything.
I received nothing I wanted, I received everything I needed.
May the world ever be stranger to all,
Khuyen
Thank you for reading. If you resonate, please join me in weekly co-wandering practice in the thought space, Enzyme for Thought. I have also compiled a list of resources that you may find helpful here.
p/s: I bastardized the poem with two more lines that resonate with me right now. Feel free to comment with your own!
- “I asked to belong and God shuffles me to stranger places to realize that everywhere is home.”
- “I asked for knowledge and God gave me the unknown”.
- “I asked for sex and God gives me my sensuous body to touch those cherish it”.
