What Will We Gain From This Isolation?

“Come back. It’s not safe to be alone overseas.”

“I can’t. I have only just come here a month ago. My classes are going to be online. I’ll be at the hotel. I’ll be safe.”

“But you will be all alone!”

“Isn’t that the point of this isolation?”

“Yes but you need to be with your family. Come back, please.”

“What about my education?”

“We will figure it out!”

“Okay, book me the next flight out.”

My sister went to Australia a month ago to study. She is back now. She is under quarantine and so are her dreams for further education abroad. Her dreams are as isolated as she is right now. In the midst of this pandemic, she is fighting for her education. Granted, her priorities are all screwed up; who cares about a degree when there is a deadly virus around? As the lockdown ensues, she locks away her dreams to study further.

Everything has changed for her. For us. For everyone. For all we know, there is a war outside. And no one knows when it will end. The roads are empty. The people are in their homes. Businesses shut. Transportation limited. Livelihoods lost. They say, “Stay away from one another” and we do. We think twice even before embracing our own family. We are suspicious of anyone who travels from abroad. Our neighbours are scared that it has come to our residence because my sister is back to a place which she calls home. Is she really safe here when all the prying eyes are isolating her like she is the evil spawn?

The little things we under-appreciated are lost. A loss that we all mourn. Want to go grab a coffee outside? It’s not safe. Want to take a walk outside? It’s not safe. Want to meet your friends and loved ones? It’s not safe. All the little things that kept us a little sane are now a luxury. A luxury that we cannot afford. “It is not a war,” they say. But it feels like one. We have everything we need but all that we want to do is lost in isolation.

I remember the conversation with my sister on her first day at college. Her joy and pride had no bounds. How her professor commended her on her proactiveness and preparedness. She was ready to take over the university with a storm. From my vantage point, she is a freaking force of nature. Now I see her in her room isolating herself to save us. To save the community. Is that enough for her to survive? Is this enough for us to survive? Don’t we need to do more to achieve than just be locked away? Don’t we need the community touch, the physical touch of others to make us feel alive? How do we explain to our kids that they can’t go and play outside? How do we stay away from the ones we love?

We are biologically and socially engineered to be around other people. We are a community. We are programmed to touch one another as a way of showing affection, feeling loved, to feel a sense of belonging. It’s a war against the way we are brought up to live. We sacrifice a lot on a day to day basis to live. We are sacrificing that now in order to survive. But maybe this sacrifice won’t go in vain. Maybe there is something else to gain — Kindness.

This is not the end of the world, yet. If there is one thing I have learnt in the face of all this is that sometimes you need to look beyond yourself, fight those primary urges, let go of the consumerism mindset and start thinking of how our actions affect others. Actions have consequences — we learn this as kids. It’s just put to practice right now. Your night out can cost thousands of lives. Your coffee-run can affect thousands of people who can’t even afford healthcare. Your walk in the park can cost someone to walk beyond the light. Are you ready to feel that burden for the rest of your life?

At wee hours of the night, while I lay awake thinking how this isolation destroys everything we have built so far, it also makes me realise how nice it can be to show and experience kindness. The kindness that we all long for but never really experience. Now is the time to show the kindness that we never experienced. Now is the time to show that we really are human kind. You may not see your loved one for days but if it saves your loved one and others in the process isn’t it the best kind of kindness that you can show? You may not be able to give that impactful presentation that can earn you your next promotion but don’t your colleagues and bosses deserve the kindness? Don’t you deserve kindness?

Change is inevitable. Probably this demands us to be still. To learn to embrace the small joys of life. To spend more time with our families. To show us how truly vulnerable we are. That we are in desperate need to change the way we live. The way we take little things for granted. Maybe when all of this is over, we won’t take it for granted. Maybe we won’t take anything lightly. In the face of death, we are all a little kind. And maybe when the war ends, we will still remember who we were when we were in isolation. Because in a way, there is more accessibility than isolation, more about opening up than feeling constricted. Maybe this isolation is solitude in disguise.

What will we gain from this isolation?

While you are listing down how this isolation affects you, your business, and economy, maybe it’s time to take a step back and indulge in activities you longed to do since you were a kid. When was the last time you picked up a book and finished it? When was the last time you picked up your paintbrush? When was the last time were you really together with your family for days? When was the last time you picked up your phone to speak to your friend? When was the last time you worked on yourself? We can go on complaining how our lives are so busy that we don’t get time to do the things we want to do. Guess what? You have that now. And while you are at it, you can learn to be kind. You can learn to live with yourself. You can count your blessings. And you can be kind to save humankind. Maybe we will be less scared. Less vulnerable. Less disagreeable. Maybe this is what it means to be a part of the community.

And while I write this behind locked doors, I know that for my sister this war will end only when she goes back to her university. It is the old her trying to salvage all she has longed for but if only she tries, she can have all that she wants. Once this war ends. And despite her isolation, she whispers to me, “I am glad we are alone in this together.”

And maybe when all this is over, we won’t forget what we gained from this.