Woman — Love Yourself

Ronda Lee
Ronda Lee
Mar 20, 2016 · 3 min read
Image for post
Image for post

On It’s Not You It’s Men, Rev. Run always ends with, “When you truly love yourself you take crap from no one.” As young girls, we are socialized to tie our happiness with a man. The princess or damsel in distress meets prince charming is rescued and “lives happily ever after.”

We must learn to guard our hearts from those who simply want to use us to build their empires with no intention of us as their queen regnant. As Nina Simone said, “You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.”

There was a phrase from the movie The Joy Luck Club, “You don’t know your worth.” When you know your worth, you walk away. For those looking for the words to say goodbye to the past and embrace your future, allow me to be of assistance.

I didn’t ask to be part of your life. You chased me and asked me to be part of your dream to build an empire. So I took your hand and gave you my heart because you said that you weren’t like other men. I took on the task of being your lover, friend, cook, confidant, cheerleader, jack of trades, recruited others to invest in your dream and everything else because “we” were building a legacy. Never once did you publicly acknowledge my contributions, although you never failed to thank others. I did what I did because I loved you and believed that “we” were building a legacy together.

When you didn’t have the bandwidth or was too worn out from the negativity of life, I picked up the slack and did whatever was necessary to make it happen for “us.” Now that “we” are no longer, I wish you no ill-will. However, I refuse to help build another person’s empire. Whether you acknowledge my contributions or never thank me, I don’t care. I simply want to heal from the wounds of “us” and move on with my life to make room for the man with bigger hands. #Rondaisms

Dear Woman,

Sometimes you’ll just be too much woman. Too smart. Too beautiful. Too strong. Too much of something that makes a man feel like less of a man, which will start making you feel like you have to be less of a woman. The biggest mistake you can make is removing jewels from your crown to make it easier for a man to carry. When this happens, I need you to understand, you do not need a smaller crown — You need a man with bigger hands. — Michael E. Reid

Image for post
Image for post

This originally appeared on Ronda’s blog, Ronda-isms.

The Coffeelicious

Home to some of the best stories on medium.

Ronda Lee

Written by

Ronda Lee

http://t.co/Y6hUg7yznI

The Coffeelicious

Home to some of the best stories on medium. Look around, relax and enjoy one with a sip of coffee.

Ronda Lee

Written by

Ronda Lee

http://t.co/Y6hUg7yznI

The Coffeelicious

Home to some of the best stories on medium. Look around, relax and enjoy one with a sip of coffee.

Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore

If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home. It’s easy and free to post your thinking on any topic. Write on Medium

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store