Writers Bliss

I used to think that I needed a thought before I started writing, so that I would have something to write. Now I start to feel that I have to be writing to get a thought that is actually worth writing. Trying to preconceive of a whole body of text designed to be communicated to people, BEFORE actually commiting oneself and ones thoughts to paper, is a very weighty non-commitment. I find it hard to follow up on something that I have written if, at the moment of writing, I did not connect what I wrote to something I thought or felt at the particular time. Either the time I wrote it, or the time I was remembering while commiting words to paper. Here I draw my line between “writing” and “writing-down”. You see, if I write something I don’t have a commitment to, or feel connected with, I merely write it down. A grocery list, write it down. School notes? Write ‘em down. It’s really a surrender to cognitive detereoration. Think about it. Think the phrase: “To write ones thoughts down.” Now replace “write” with “water”, and think about that when you write things down. It is mostly for support. To have a visual representation and reminder of what one cannot stomech in ones brain. Once written down, they seem trite and trivial, beckoning and stressing you: Rubbing in your face what you could not manage to contain within your self. I try to not write down too many things and thoughts, I rarely feel the urge to. I find myself unwilling to part with anything when I write. You, of course, know the superstition that states having your picture taken eats away at your soul. This I find more befitting of writing then of photography. Not to say that I don’t enjoy writing, but I do also admit that a creeping lethargy often accompanies, especially prolonged, writing sessions. Sometimes it’s an increasing distance toward what I am writing, a gradual realisation that it’s going nowhere, or too far the wrong way. Maybe its simply too way off from the starting point to ever reach maturity. Once again just something your brain could not handle. These complications can however be outweighed by moments of actual writing. They can sometimes even lead to them. Moments when the pen is totally in sync with the words that succesfully are entering and leaving your mind in a natural way. Not lingering too long, and not gone too fast for perception. That is the stuff you leave, look at and go to bed after writing, because your work there is done. It is written, and so it stays. These unwatered and distilled moments offer a great relief. So many writiers cry their hearts out about “writers block”, yet few celebrate these moments of uadulterated transit between mind and paper. This Writers Bliss.