7 Ways To Cope With Anxiety
Anxiety is something that most of us can identify with. In part, anxiety is a completely normal human emotion and reaction to situations in life. It can help us get things done and stay safe.
Anxiety becomes difficult when it shows up in our lives more frequently and more insistently. It can present in a million different ways and can contribute to us struggling to be able to be our full and amazing selves.
While this is by no means an exhaustive list, and does not include traditional treatment methods, I have found the following 7 strategies really helpful in coping and working through anxious moments.
1. Know your triggers
We all experience anxiety differently — but there are commonalities between us all. Commonly, we speak of social anxiety, test-taking anxiety, specific fears/phobias. More broadly, you may find that your anxiety is more general and spans a variety of situations. Knowing what triggers your anxiety helps you plan for it. If you know that encroaching deadlines cause you anxiety, you may plan your work schedule to complete tasks well in advance. Or if you know that being in a room full of unfamiliar people triggers your anxiety you can plan for that too. Maybe you invite a friend to go along or you take deep breaths when first meeting new folks to help calm that anxiety alarm bell.
2. Name it
Give your anxiety a name. Literally. I’ve named mine Gloria. What this does is externalize your anxiety from you. Instead of labelling ourselves as anxious people, we now have this separate entity who is present for some moments in our lives and not present for others. For me, I greet Gloria, acknowledge her presence, and know that she will not be with me forever. This has created so much freedom and rewrote the story I told myself my whole life in which I was the problem.
3. Reach out
I know — it sounds simple. But reaching out is one of the most important strategies for coping with all of life’s challenges — including anxiety. We are social creatures searching for connection. Through connection, we are able to heal and move through our world safely. Reaching out is important because the people in our lives may not always know what we need. Especially if you, like me, are good at taking care of yourself and putting on a brave and happy face. You have chosen specific people to be part of your circle for a reason. They are here to support you just like you support them. It’s okay to need help. Anxiety is a lot more manageable when we are connected to others.
4. Create a self-care tool box
References to self-care are plenty and in great supply. The most important key to self-care is what it means to you. All of us have different needs and different things that make us feel whole. So if self-care is defined by ways in which we can replenish our reserves, then we need a self-care toolbox to help get the job done. Having a toolbox is great because you can access the tool that best meets your needs at the time. It could be recognizing that spending time with friends fills you up or that being active in your community helps you feel whole and energized. Maybe grounding yourself in nature or consistent exercise is exactly what you need. The takeaway is that you have a list of strategies you know make you feel like your whole self and allow you to recover from the stress and impacts of anxiety.
5. Challenge your thoughts
While anxiety lives throughout the body, our thoughts are often at the forefront of our anxious experiences. Challenging your thinking can be a helpful exercise in decreasing the intensity of anxious moments. A useful exercise is asking yourself the following questions: “Is this helpful?” and “Is this realistic?” When the answer is no you can start to develop thoughts that are more accurate. Even just acknowledging that your thinking isn’t helpful can help break the cycle and decrease your emotional anxious response.
6. Sit with your emotions
If this step seems either too easy or too vague, I completely understand. This eluded me for a long time. Instead, I would distract myself or numb my thoughts with activities such as music or television to help alleviate the discomfort of experiencing anxiety. While in the moment this feels good, it actually traps the anxiety inside and makes it bigger in the long run. The only way to fully cope with anxiety is to sit with the emotion in order to process and release it. First, you are going to label and acknowledge it. For me, that’s saying “Hi, Gloria”. Recognize that while it feels really uncomfortable right now, this won’t be true forever. Accept that this is true in this moment and know you will get through it. Deep breathing can really help. Allowing yourself to fully feel the anxiety, accept it, and ground your body in the moment allows you to process it. Once you process the anxiety, you can release it.
7. Be kind
We often extend a lot of kindness to others and not to ourselves. Anxiety is completely normal and everyone experiences it in some form. Remember, you are okay. Like all emotions, anxiety ebbs and flows. It is here for one moment and gone the next. Be kind. It may be hard but that’s what makes you human.
