The Kindest Tree by Kerry Bertram #KindBury
Story #1 of the #KindBury Series exploring kindness and connected across Bury
In Bury there is a kind tree. Its in Burrs Country Park near the river and my children and I call it the kind tree because it always offers a treasure. In spring and summer you can find baby frogs nestled in the grassy roots, before they jump off to find their ponds and streams to live in. Last time we visited the tree we found two baby newts and a millipede. I’ve sat under the tree lots of times watching the river and offering myself some quiet kindness. I’ve introduced friends to the tree and its treasure, foraging for blackberries in the bushes around it (for the best blackberry haul you have to paddle in the river) My Instagram has pictures of this tree in winter and I can clearly remember pausing under the tree and listening to the water on that frosty day.
I live in Bury but I’m from the south originally. Through a series of life events I ended up here in a convenient, affordable house that is a welcoming home on the inside. When I moved in, full of naïve community spirit I knocked on the door of all my neighbours to say hello, and was met with blank stares, suspicion and one door shut in my face. So, feeling snubbed and with a weird sense of shame, I didn’t do that again.
With my boys going to school in Bolton and work elsewhere I didn’t have a ready-made social network in the place where I lived and I couldn’t seem to quite find one to join. So, I outsourced my network needs, spending most of my social time with friends in Manchester and at work. I blamed Bury for not having what I needed and filled my life up, I was hardly ever in the town.
It was exhausting though living my life in one place and living elsewhere, I started looking for kindness and connection in the place, the physical environment to fill the gap where I couldn’t find the connection in people.
First the kind tree, then a solo evening trip to the art gallery. A friendly-feeling coffee shop in the town centre with a book. A little further afield, homemade pesto with the wild garlic of Ramsbottom, scrambling up Holcombe Hill. Visits to the parks with the kids, ranking them by stick quality and tree climbing possibilities. Markets, buying local stuff, visiting community fairs and festivals, playing at being a part of the community.
Slowly that ‘playing’ at being part of the community built and I saw some human kindness that I’d been on the look out for. My pipe burst and a neighbour brought his tools over to help (the same man who had shut the door in my face before). A friend of a friend moved to town and we soon became regulars at that coffee shop. I brought friends from elsewhere into the places I’d discovered to share them together. The boys and I regularly find and re-hide those painted ‘Rammy-Rocks’, enjoying feeling like part of a fun community project.
Bury The Kindest Tree
In Bury there is a kind tree. Its in Burrs Country Park near the river and my children and I call it the kind tree because it always offers a treasure. In spring and summer you can find baby frogs nestled in the grassy roots, before they jump off to find their ponds and streams to live in. Last time we visited the tree we found two baby newts and a millipede. I’ve sat under the tree lots of times watching the river and offering myself some quiet kindness. I’ve introduced friends to the tree and its treasure, foraging for blackberries in the bushes around it (for the best blackberry haul you have to paddle in the river) My Instagram has pictures of this tree in winter and I can clearly remember pausing under the tree and listening to the water on that frosty day.
I live in Bury but I’m from the south originally. Through a series of life events I ended up here in a convenient, affordable house that is a welcoming home on the inside. When I moved in, full of naïve community spirit I knocked on the door of all my neighbours to say hello, and was met with blank stares, suspicion and one door shut in my face. So, feeling snubbed and with a weird sense of shame, I didn’t do that again.
With my boys going to school in Bolton and work elsewhere I didn’t have a ready-made social network in the place where I lived and I couldn’t seem to quite find one to join. So, I outsourced my network needs, spending most of my social time with friends in Manchester and at work. I blamed Bury for not having what I needed and filled my life up, I was hardly ever in the town.
It was exhausting though living my life in one place and living elsewhere, I started looking for kindness and connection in the place, the physical environment to fill the gap where I couldn’t find the connection in people.
First the kind tree, then a solo evening trip to the art gallery. A friendly-feeling coffee shop in the town centre with a book. A little further afield, homemade pesto with the wild garlic of Ramsbottom, scrambling up Holcombe Hill. Visits to the parks with the kids, ranking them by stick quality and tree climbing possibilities. Markets, buying local stuff, visiting community fairs and festivals, playing at being a part of the community.
Slowly that ‘playing’ at being part of the community built and I saw some human kindness that I’d been on the look out for. My pipe burst and a neighbour brought his tools over to help (the same man who had shut the door in my face before). A friend of a friend moved to town and we soon became regulars at that coffee shop. I brought friends from elsewhere into the places I’d discovered to share them together. The boys and I regularly find and re-hide those painted ‘Rammy-Rocks’, enjoying feeling like part of a fun community project.
Bury feels to me like a kinder place to be in than when I arrived 4 years ago. As I’ve felt more familiar and appreciative of the place it’s got kinder in my eyes. As I’ve been braver in reaching out, like asking for help with the pipe or asking the friend of a friend if she fancied a coffee, I’ve felt closer to the place.
Sharing kindness with a person is rewarding, feeling kindness in surroundings is nourishing, knowing a kind tree is a little odd! However, the real kindness that Bury has shown me is that seeking and sharing feels much better than expecting and blaming. #KindBuryto me like a kinder place to be in than when I arrived 4 years ago. As I’ve felt more familiar and appreciative of the place it’s got kinder in my eyes. As I’ve been braver in reaching out, like asking for help with the pipe or asking the friend of a friend if she fancied a coffee, I’ve felt closer to the place.
Sharing kindness with a person is rewarding, feeling kindness in surroundings is nourishing, knowing a kind tree is a little odd! However, the real kindness that Bury has shown me is that seeking and sharing feels much better than expecting and blaming. #KindBury
Find out more about Kerry
