Aaron Sorkin’s Children Bicker

Chase:

Aha!! I stole it!

Lisa:

Stole what?

Chase:

Your favorite bunny.

Lisa:

What favorite bunny?

Chase:

Your bunny. You keep it on the bed. You hold it every night. That favorite bunny.

Lisa:

Mom!

Chase:

First sign of trouble. You call for help. So typical.

Lisa:

What?

Chase:

First sign of trouble. Everytime. You call for help.

Evelyn:

*sigh*

Lisa:

What is it Evelyn?

Chase:

Anything you want to share?

Evelyn:

It’s just that… nothing

Chase:

If you have something to say. Say it.

Evelyn:
You want me to say it? Fine. I will. You’re both acting like a bunch of children.

Lisa:

We are children!

Evelyn:

Socrates once said that “our youth now have luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders.” And, I never thought I would see so much truth in that.

Chase:

Who’s Socrates? Do all 12 year olds have quotes like that memorized?

Evelyn:

(music stirs)

You’re practically adults. Chase you’re 8 years old. You’re almost double digits. And you’re stealing bunnies from your sister? From your little sister? You couldn’t be making it seem like you’re the middle child more if you had a sign that was taped to your back that said “middle child.” You can be more than this...

And you -little sister- just in case you accidentally yell “mom” during this soliloquy remember this: she’s not always going to be there. You’re the youngest but when will you stop using that as a crutch. It’s a place of joy and laughter, or you can tie yourself up to that tree to be crucified.

Here are the facts: we are going to spend a lot of time with each other. In fact, most major studies say that children spend more time with their siblings than with anyone else. By the time you reach 11, we will spend 33% of our free time with siblings. And in this family, around 20% of that time will be spent delivering soliloquies.

Chase, you’re in the middle. I know you feel lost, but stealing a bunny in a desperate plea of attention? Come on.

Lisa you’re the youngest; psychologist Frank Sulloway said the youngest are the rebels. So start acting like it. No more yelling for Mom.

All I’m saying is this: We have our roles and have our paths. But we choose where we walk. We choose what path we take and whether or not we choose to accept the paths that have been laid out in front of us.

Lisa:

What does sololoquee mean?

Evelyn:

Oh Lord. You are young. You’re a Sorkin. Ask dad when he gets home. I’ll be in my room listening to One Direction.

The End.

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