COOKING TIPS

How to Burn Your Food In 3 Steps

A quick guide for crispy crunchy meals

Kyle Mann
The Comedy Kitchen
Published in
3 min readApr 2, 2023

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Cooking flambe!
Me, cooking last night’s meal. ©Kyle Mann via Canva.com

Burning your meal — the pinnacle of culinary achievement! If you’re looking to char your food to crispy perfection, then you’ve come to the right place.

As a master of culinary disaster, I’m here to guide you through the three easy steps I use every single day as a stay-at-home dad!

Is it hot in here?

The first and most important step in burning your meal is to ignore the recommended cooking temperature and turn that knob up to the highest setting.

If you really want to burn your meal, you need to crank up the heat to the HIGHEST setting.

This will ensure that your food cooks quickly and evenly. When you start to smell smoke and see flames, you’ll know that you’ve achieved culinary perfection.

What was I doing again?

Next, you need a good distraction. Forget about your food as it simmers and boils away on the stove or in the oven.

Get distracted by social media, binge-watching your favorite show, or catching up on some work emails. Don’t bother checking on your food until it’s too late.

Give it some space

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