For The Love Of Closure…
And the feeling of being complete
I hate eavesdropping, I hate it when others do it and I definitely do not want to be one of the people that does it. Ok, alright(I couldn’t even keep a straight face while typing that) I admit it, I sometimes can’t help myself.
This happened a few years ago. I was on my bike, on my way to an open mic when an auto stopped next to my bike at a signal. There were two women in the auto, somewhere in their early 20s, one of them was crying while the other was trying her best to console her.
“He came over when my parents weren’t home”, she said in between sobs.
“We started making out, it was quite intense, things were moving so quickly and he slid his hand down my pants.”
Needless to say this had already peaked my interest.
“But then I heard my father’s car, the garage door opening. I just told him to run, he got up, put on his shirt and looked at the balcony, he said he was going to try jumping…….”
The signal turned green and the auto lurched forward, an asshole who was in the car in front of me seemed to be colour blind as he stared at the green signal for a total of 15 seconds, probably thinking about how his life had gone wrong or probably contemplating suicide(I hope it was the second option)before he started his car and moved forward. I tried my best to get close to the auto but the traffic just made it an impossible feat. I lost sight of it.
It’s been two years and I still think about that night. What happened to the dude, did he manage to get out? Did he get caught? Or was it a false alarm and it wasn’t the father’s car after all? Why was she crying? That means they did get caught right? If they didn’t get caught then what might be the reason for the girl’s tears? Did that bastard misjudge the situation and slide his hands down her pants without her consent? Was the dude a rapist? Did the dude try jumping and die?
I used to lay awake at night sometimes running down all these scenarios. I once thought of this for a full 3 hours when I was home. The need for closure is just inbuilt within me I guess. We need closure all the time when you think about it. Forget this fucked up story above, think about all the incidents, events, times and bonds in your life that don’t have closure. That relationship that just ended abruptly even though you saw so much potential in it, that book that you never got around to finishing, that half written novel you have lying around in your laptop thinking fuck yeah! I’mma be a writer(too real for me). These things bother me quite a lot, now in the above story I had no control over the situation but the other examples were and are in my control, yet I don’t do anything about it mainly because I love procrastinating more.
My constant need for closure is trumped by the fact that I am afraid of failing. It’s easier to say that you are writing a book that will change the world of literature than actually writing it and people saying it’s shit. It’s easier to call that woman a bitch and move on rather than admitting your own flaws and working on them to become a better human being.
I think that is where we as millennials(God I can’t believe I typed that) are failing. We have all these grand ideas and don’t do much about it. We just like to slouch around. People ask me why haven’t you uploaded a stand-up comedy clip yet, I keep saying I will, I just need the money. The real reason is fear, the fear that I put the video out and will be subjected to ridicule and criticism.
Anyways, I was back at a bar drinking alone, waiting for my friends to show up.
“Varun, you have to tell them your story”, a dude behind me said.
“Well I was making out with my girlfriend in her house when her parents weren’t home when all of a sudden she heard her father’s car. She told me to run and so I did. I put on my clothes as fast as I could and then jumped from her balcony on to the neighbor’s balcony and walked down easily. Turns out it wasn’t her father’s car. I was so relieved that I crossed the street without looking to see if any vehicle was coming and I get rammed by a car. I wake up in a nursing home and see my girlfriend standing next to her parents. Her dad had hit me with the car and had broken my leg. He was so sad that he had hit me that her father begged for forgiveness. We got to talking and turns out he liked me. Long story short bro, we are married now”.
My eyes slightly teared up, 2 years and finally some closure. I don’t even know if it was the same girl from the auto he was talking about. I just smiled and my day felt better.
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