Why did you give the diamond to THE MONKEY!!

they always seem like the deserve it…

“Yeah, I don’t follow politics”, that’s usually what I used to say to everyone that started talking to me about how messed up the country has gotten. Nowadays I sort of try and pay attention. This is what I think the current political system is like in our country.

Have you ever shat in a toilet that someone had just moments ago shat in? Do you remember that stench? The odour that somehow permeates through not only your nose but your skin as well? You can’t run out and scream to the heavens about the stench, cause you too my friend have reached the point of no return, it’s now or never. So you take the shit that has, cramped up in you for a long time and let it rip. Then something magical happens! The stench there is now replaced by your stench, and as we all know we can handle our own stench. Now think of the Congress as the dude that moments ago shat in the toilet, the BJP as you(I know, jut agree for the sake of the story). You may walk out of the toilet happy about yourself, thinking that your shit was better than the other guys shit, that your shit was way more easier on the nose, that your shit was so much better that you are convinced that the next guy who goes in there will learn to somehow appreciate the almost sheer odourless nature of that toilet. Both the BJP and the Congress think that of one another, but what both of them fail to realize, or at least the general public fails to realize is that they both are offering nothing but shit.

The sheer brilliance of the BJP is astounding though, their marketing is sublime. The teams they hire to push their agenda and their party is amazing. Their strategists, their publicists, their social media team and of course their legendary IT cell is all at a great international standard, but what they don’t have are smart politicians, this somehow fucks up the hard work that all the behind the scene guys are doing.

“Vote for the BJP to stop violence against women”, read an ad in the paper.

“Hitting women who dance and drink in pubs is not at all wrong”, reads the headline beneath it, yup, that was said by Sharan Pumpwell(the head of the Bajrang Dal, the youth wing of the RSS, which the BJP still adheres to).

You see what I mean? In the Kannada language we have a saying “Mangana kaile maanikya kottange”, which translates to “WHY THE FUCK! Did you give the monkey the diamond”.

“No dude you just don’t get it”, said a friend of mine. “That’s genius what they are doing”.

“Please elaborate”, said I, I need to fill this article with more words.

“You see the guys behind the scenes are for the urban votes, people who read the newspaper, people who make rational and fair decisions but are too lazy to actually look anything up. The guys like Pumpwell, appeal to the silent majority, our version of the redneck American. The guys who don’t want women out after 7 pm, the guys who don’t get laid so they want everyone else to not get laid. The guys who should not be allowed to vote out of stupidity but can nonetheless (yes my friend uses words like nonetheless). So in a way you get both sections of society to vote! It’s genius I tell you.”

I thought to myself that I would not vote for these two parties, I will find a party that will be new and amazing and it will stand for something I believe in. It was at this moment that I saw an ad in the paper. “Vote for the MEP(Mahila Empowerment Party), this had a picture with women in protest at some rally, a Muslim woman in a hijab standing at the forefront, the key points of their manifesto next to this picture. I was excited, yes the party with only women!! They will reduce the violence, they will give women the freedom of staying out late! They will make everything right! It was at this point I saw that one of the points on their manifesto was “Ban on liquor!”. I guffawed(I always wanted to use that word) but I calmed myself. “I am willing to make this sacrifice for my country”, I proclaimed to myself.

“I told you they are genius”, my friend said appearing out of thin air.

“The MEP is actually a sister party of the BJP and it’s their party, did you know that the majority of their candidates are men? They make parties like these to divide the vote, people who would have voted for the Congress vote for the MEP and many other similar parties that they have set up”.

My dream was shattered, my lungs were giving in, my whole life started flashing before my eyes. Then suddenly I let out a fart that was just scrunched up in my intestines.

I was shot back to reality, I was in the toilet of a pub taking a shit on a toilet that someone had just moments ago taken a shit in. I cleaned myself up and opened the door to see my friend standing right outside the stall.

“I know, you weren’t replying but I am telling you dude they are fucking genius!”, he said and entered into the toilet stall.

“Dude this stinks!”, he said. I smiled and moved on with my life and so will you.

thanks for reading! TheComicCurryBlog publishes four blogs a week, Make sure to follow us. Donate to us, for a good cause (rent!)