Freshmen 2016

We’ve been told since the beginning that college would be a big shift for us. That our freshmen year would be the most difficult, the most challenging. And maybe it is for some people, maybe I just got lucky.

I’ve always been on the more independent side. I’ve been doing my own laundry for as long as I can remember. The idea that some people would struggle with that responsibility astounds me. Or doing the dishes. To me, coming to college was like any other day in the life.

I’ll admit that the move in was a bit stressful, really I was concerned with my parents. There was a lot of chaos involved and no one in my family handles that particularly well. But we made it through the day, there was one moment where the emotions threatened to spill over but then they were gone and life resumed.

I don’t know why this year has been so normal for me. It shouldn’t have been, there have been some pretty big changes. Yet it doesn’t feel like there has been. I still get that feeling that I’m still in high school, that I could go back to where I came from and everything would just resume. Even some of the professors here remind me of the teachers there.

My friends from my high school life tell me the same thing. That they don’t feel like college students. That we’re still all in high school even if we’re no longer together. We all have new friends, new adventures, and new schools. But nothing has really changed for any of us.

This year, I only have two finals. One in Psychology and one in English. Only one of those is a cumulative exam. So maybe I got lucky, my professors never seemed to demand much from me and all of my classes this year were repeats from high school. English, biology, psychology, spanish. Plus lab and a strange intro to healthcare class that tried to bring awareness to our lives.

When I’m told that this will be my hardest time, I have to hope otherwise. I know that they mean that in the way that this semester was hard because of the transition. Big life changes after all; but it hasn’t been for me. It’s just been another day.

Even having a roommate hasn’t been a big deal. I used to share a room with my sister when I was little, and then I was alone. So coming back to have a roommate, to having two roommates, was a little strange. For about five minutes. Our first fight of the year started from a card game. Last night.

I think I’m doing college wrong. I go to class, do my work, don’t fight with my roommates, don’t struggle with being on my own, and haven’t risked failing yet.

College was supposed to be this great change in my life, but it hasn’t been. I’m still me.