Reasons Why You Should Not Run.

A reminder letter, for when you’re really struggling to hold yourself back.

First of all, people will look at you. They will talk about you. They will describe you in terms that you have neither chosen nor endorsed. And some of the things they say may be mean and untrue. They could be completely irrelevant to boot. Here’s looking at you, dating life.

Second, you’re a bit awkward; some might say “quirky”. Unfortunately. And when you’re at events or big gatherings of people, you do this verbal diarrhea thing, because you’re anxious and you want all people to feel welcome — so, you ask a million questions. This sometimes leads to great conversation, sometimes leads to overly personal discussions, but is always, a minefield for gaffs.

Never mind that you are exceptionally clumsy and bound to fall on your ass, flash a reporter or break a toe.

Third, you have a mental illness. You’ve struggled your whole life with depression. Pharmaceutical companies are bad but medication was the only thing that helped. You won’t hide that; can’t NOT speak it and make it real. As a community mental health counselor, you saw families wracked with shame and guilt, along with tragic, horrible ends, over something so prevalent, so treatable.

No shame: You won’t participate in it. We are all fallible and human.

Fourth, and perhaps most important, you don’t want your family-of-origin to be drug into some city council race. It’s not worth it. You don’t have much contact — everyone is mostly at peace — but it’s low hanging fruit and would be very hurtful. You have a brother in jail. Another who served almost 3 years for possession of less than an ounce of marijuana.

Your foundation, while shaky, has made you one hell of an advocate.

Finally, you’re not eager to be in a position of power anyway. It’s serious business to be a public officer; the lives of neighbors, families, and businesses depend on you to work hard for them. This isn’t a boys club.

At least not for a council(wo)man, and you, my dear, need to know so much more.

PS — Also, what if you cry or fidget too much or faint at your first speech.

PPS — You definitely don’t have clothes for this.

The average woman has to be asked to run seven times before she considers it.

This doesn’t mean that she will run. She may have to be asked seven more times, or 100. I’m sharing this because these are some of my barriers. I know other women, with childcare or health insurance issues; women who don’t want to lose their pension; others with a problematic teen or ailing parent.

Women face significantly more barriers to public office than men.

Will you please join me and share yours?