Steal Wi-Fi from People You’ve Never Met

I’m guessing you clicked on this thinking, “What in holy H is this about?”

After a long and restless night, I couldn’t help but think about lessons I’ve learned from some of my personal heroes (also people I’ve never met before). Here are their stories (queue in Law & Order dun-dun):

Lesson 1: Steal Wi-Fi

“You take your mentoring where you can find it, even if it is not being offered to you. Have you ever used your neighbor’s Wi-Fi when it wasn’t on a password? If you have the opportunity to observe someone at work, you’re getting mentoring out of them even if they’re unaware or resistant. Make a list of the people you think would make the greatest mentors and try to get close enough to steal their Wi-Fi.”

― Mindy Kaling, “Why Not Me?”

You don’t always have to form a formal mentor-to-mentee relationship. You can seek out a mentor without them, knowing you look up to them like a mentor (I have plenty of these, from friends to colleagues to former professors). I’ve learned so much from these people and they continue to support me and teach me new things whenever we interact, even though they don’t know it. If you have the opportunity to learn from someone just through observation, do it — it’s one of the more cost-effective methods of gaining knowledge!

Lesson 2: Sometimes you have to write your own part

“[…] Write your own part. It is the only way I’ve gotten anywhere. It is much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands. It forces you to think about what your strengths really are, and once you find them, you can showcase them, and no one can stop you.”

― Mindy Kaling, “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?”

Although Mindy’s referring to acting roles, this is also relevant to people working at startups or for people with side hustles. Sometimes you have to write your own part and pitch it. Not every organization knows what they’re missing. Be proactive and write your own job description (side note: this is also how I’ve gotten a promotion).

Lesson 3: With ladders, you often end up staring at the butt of the person in front of you.

“Careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder.”

― Sheryl Sandberg, “Lean In”

Ladders are limiting cause there’s only one way to get to the top, but there are many ways to get to the top of a jungle gym. Sandberg suggests not to plan every step of your career, because you don’t know what you might miss out on. Instead, have a long-term dream and an 18-month plan.

I felt comforted hearing these words from Sandberg because my seemingly-random work experience ranges from government work to startup, and I’ve done everything from copywriting to planting coffee trees. From a traditional point of view it may seem like I’m all over the place, but I think Sandberg gets me when she talks about swinging in different directions and doing things you would do if you weren’t afraid. Not having a vertical direction can be a great thing because it allows you to be flexible and gain knowledge from different sources and point of views.

Lesson 4: Improv and your career

“The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you’re improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created […] obviously in real life you’re not always going to agree with everything everyone says. But the Rule of Agreement reminds you to ‘respect what your partner has created’ and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you.”

Keeping an open mind goes a long way. In business school, I worked with people from all over the world and various backgrounds. Those who were most successful and gained the most meaningful relationships came to meetings/brainstorming sessions/classes with an open mind and didn’t start sentences with “no.” Practice deep listening and be open to what other people have to say.

“The second rule of improvisation is not only to say yes, but YES, AND… You are supposed to agree and then add something of your own… To me YES, AND means: don’t be afraid to contribute. It’s your responsibility to contribute. Always make sure you’re adding something to the discussion. Your initiations are worthwhile.”

Keep an open mind and add your something of your own. This could be an idea or thought from your own perspective, experience, or knowledge. Don’t just listen, contribute!

“The next rule is MAKE STATEMENTS… In other words: Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.”

Everyone needs a team member to play devil’s advocate but don’t let that be your only role. Be more than just the person who points out why something won’t work. Instead, support your team and be part of the solution.

“THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, only opportunities… In improv there are no mistakes, only beautiful happy accidents. And many of the world’s greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.”

― Tina Fey, “Bossypants”

As someone who can be too hard on myself, I say to you: Don’t let your “mistakes” prevent you from moving forward. Oftentimes we hold ourselves back because we’re afraid of failure. Mistakes don’t really exist, rather, each hiccup is an opportunity to learn and do better the next time.

Steal Wi-Fi, it’s good for your personal growth.