The Magic of Storytelling
We grew up listening to stories. Bedtime stories made going to sleep less boring. When we were kids, stories showed us the world; the animals living in the amazon, the busy streets in NYC, London or Tokyo. A cold winter in Finland or a sunny beach in Australia. They taught us life; from how to be friends with that cute girl or boy next door to what would be like to sail the stormy ocean.
And when we grow up, we continue to read books and watch movies. We love stories.
The other day, I was listening to one of Simon Sinek’s talks. The way he delivers his idea is straight forward and clear. Without doubt, he is an attractive speaker. He gives his listeners great examples adding a humorous touch. But the most important aspect that makes him a charismatic speaker is the way he tells his stories. His anecdotes sticks to us. This one airplane story is a good example.
He gets on the plane and searches for his seat fantasising about that cliché air plane love stories. Opposite to his expectation, he gets a — as he calls — bitter seatmate for the next 5 hours. When breakfast time comes around, they have 2 choices; cereal or omelet. Both choose cereal, but there is only one cereal left. Right when he is about to offer the woman to have that last cereal, she tells the flight attendant, “I’ll have the cereal!”
Ugh! What a bitch! We all thought. But we laughed. We laughed because we somehow saw this coming. We all had similar experiences.
He told this story to explain the importance of generosity and helping one another in business. He could have simply explained why those elements are necessary, maybe with some real results and numbers. But instead he used a story; he used a rude egocentric woman we’ve all met at some point in our lives. And that made his presentation interesting. The story itself was nothing special, just about a shitty experience anyone has. But he told the story in a way that we could visualize him getting upset next to that selfish human being. We could feel his surprise, frustration and anger as if it was happening to us. He successfully delivered his point; No one wants to help a selfish person, and that is why we need to have generosity.
Our brains are more active when we are told stories. We learn better when things are put into stories rather than a list of facts. While only a part of the brain reacts when processing facts, the entire brain is active when listening to stories. We feel as if certain events are happening to us, like feeling angry when the woman in Sinek’s story brutally took the last cereal. We feel and that’s how we remember better.
And in order to feel, stories have to be relatable. Despite the fact that we like unexpected turn of events and endings in movies or novels, we love stories that we can relate to. When we are listening to a story, we unconsciously search for similar experiences that are stored in the brain. Once we find them, we feel the storyteller. That’s why stories that people can associate with their own life stories or telling in such a way is key for good storytelling. Comedians do this to bring laughter. Filmmakers, writer and even photographer or dancers do this to bring tears, excitement and other emotions. Paraphrasing what author, Cheryl Strayed once said, an artist’s job is to make stories interesting, and one can make it interesting by writing in a way that people read a story and can see their own story in it even if it’s totally different.
So after Sinek’s talk, I was thinking what makes a great speaker. A good sense of humor? Authenticity? A right amount of gesture? Confidence? They are all important, but what we really need is empathy. Even when you are the one telling a story and you are the center of attention, it’s not about you. It always should be about the listeners. If we could be a little more selfless, that would make us better storytellers.
