My Hairy Legs
A story about loving the unlovable.
I grew up in India, and then at the age of 5, my family and I moved to Canada.
I looked different than the other kids, and I had something else that others didn’t — I had hairy legs.
I was regularly bullied for my hairy legs. The kids called me a boy, Godzilla, and other traumatizing names that I shudder at the thought of. And of course, being a highly sensitive introvert — I felt all this.
I felt shame throughout my body, and every time I looked at my hairy legs, pain and suffering is all I could feel. My inner child was sad and felt unloved and unlovable.
I desperately started shaving and waxing my legs at the age of 7. I was obsessed with smooth legs. If there was an event to go to and I hadn’t removed the hair on my legs, I just wouldn’t go. I would make up an excuse. I was so scared of being seen and judged, and more than anything, of feeling ugly.
I wouldn’t wear shorts, and would always wear long pants and long sleeves. The hair on my head was always praised — it was thick, luscious and curly, but the hair on my body…judged.
There were even several instances in my adult life that if I hadn’t waxed, I would even avoid having sex.
In March 2019, my husband and I were backpacking in Mexico and it was SO HOT. I had gotten comfortable with having hairy legs around my husband, but that took time. Nonetheless, we were in Mexico and it was so so so hot. I didn’t have a razor or access to any waxing supplies, and I really wanted to go to the beach and cool off.
I had shorts I had packed but was really scared to wear them. The stakes were high — do I risk being seen in public with my hairy legs and be judged by the world, giving my power away? Or do I stand for my own freedom, and be authentic, and embrace my hairy legs?
I had to wear my shorts in public and go to the beach. I knew I had to do it.
With massive inspiration and emotional support from my husband, Cam, I put on my shorts. I was literally on the verge of tears, I was so scared. I could feel all the judgement, shame, guilt, hatred and rejection bubbling up within my body. The same pain that had been stored there since my childhood.
We then walked out of the house, and Cam held my hand tightly as we walked down the dusty streets of San Pancho. At first, there were not a lot of people in sight (phew), but as we approached the touristy area closer to the beach — the crowds got bigger and bigger.
Holding Cam’s hand tighter with each step, I felt more and more confident. I could do this, I am beautiful, said a quiet voice within me. I noticed people looking at me, but then they looked away. Nobody actually said anything.
As we got closer to the beach, I felt scared. I saw so many beautiful women walking around with smooth legs. I kept thinking that I was being judged. I wanted to hide behind Cam, and as we got closer to the beach I would try to distract myself by walking into stores. After Cam discovered that I was still scared, he pulled me aside and in that moment I truly re-discovered the depth of our love.
He held my hand firm and looked me in the eys and said:
“Kacy, I believe in you. I love you. You are so beautiful. And like everything else on your body, and in your body, your hair is just a part of you. Another beautiful part of you that I love.”
I gained more strength and confidence, and I knew that even though I was feeling so vulnerable and exposed — I was loved. So, why couldn’t I truly love myself?
Because I was programmed to find my defects. In fact, most of us are since birth. The world will always find something to judge. And everyone has their own version of hairy legs.
In that moment, I had an aha moment…
As long as I focus on the thing that I don’t like (in this case, my hairy legs), the universe will magnify it until I face my fears and truly look at myself — all of me. When I recognized this truth, I felt powerful and beautiful. I felt authentically me.
This was a deep part of myself that I resisted for so long and what I observed was that most people didn’t really care and the ones that looked may not even be judging. I was the only one judging and shaming me, and I could just finally be free and let that go!
I didn’t need to be defined by my external beauty, I was beautiful all throughout. Inside and out.
As we walked home from the journey, it felt eaiser. And then I saw a woman sitting on a bench — she was looking at me smiling — and I looked down and saw something that will forever put a smile on my face…I saw her hairy legs! And they were even hairier than mine!
The universe was laughing and smiling with me, because finally, the one thing I thought was unlovable…I finally embraced and loved.
I realized that it really wasn’t about having the hair on my legs or not, it was really about how I felt. When I was younger, and would wax or shave my legs, I would do so in order to hide the “ugliness” and I would feel shame. Whereas now, there’s no shame! So, when I do choose to wax my legs — it’s for me! I’m not stopped, and if I need to do things or go out, I do it.
I want to share that we all have our own version of hairy legs. I’m sure you have yours. Now that I’ve gone through this — my gift is to show you how to love even the parts of yourself you never thought you could. It can be challenging to know where to start, but remember this — the journey to your greatest life starts with one simple step…even if you have hairy legs 😉
The nature of being human includes pain, suffering and even shame — yet it’s what we do with these challenges that defines who we become. If you’re ready to take on your life and create a new version of yourself, moving past the pain and the shame — I would be honoured to support you on your journey. I invite you to trust yourself, and book a free call with me today if it feels aligned for you!
