People-Pleasers Start Out As Parent-Pleasers
Selflessness may earn us love and acceptance, but it comes with a cost
I used to wear my selflessness like a badge of honor. It was my best trait, the thing I prided myself on most.
I was the person who always said yes. The friend who listened and gave advice. The daughter who always made time for family. The partner who never complained, no matter how unhappy she was. The student and coworker juggling a million things at once, dedicating herself to countless causes and projects, regardless of what was going on in her personal life.
In my mind, being there for everyone else was a reflection of my worth. It felt good to be needed, to earn that external validation.
But there’s a dark side to that kind of selflessness. Giving, and giving, and giving… it comes with a cost. A heavy, painful cost: our mental, emotional, and physical health.
Over time, I began to feel the weight of that sacrifice pressing down on me, suffocating me. I started to notice the cracks forming beneath the surface — anxiety creeping in, exhaustion following me everywhere. My mind and body were screaming for a break, yet I ignored them, convinced that my worth was tied to my ability to keep giving.
