Rules are necessary to follow BEFORE they’re broken
I had a great conversation with a client this morning about her unwillingness to follow the rules. We laugh about it frequently because this pattern shows up in all areas of her life.
It brought to mind the story of a dear friend who could never get a particular vegan cheesecake recipe to work…
One Christmas, she tried multiple times with various adjustments to this recipe before presenting a baked version of vegan cheesecake soup. So I asked her, what exactly DID you change from the original recipe?
She began listing all the substitutions she’s made and it hit me…had she ever tried to make it the way the recipe was written so she would understand HOW each of the ingredients worked together?
No shock here.
The answer was no.
We also had a great laugh about this as I told her there was no way of knowing what CAN be substituted until she understood why the recipe is written the way it is.
For a vegan cheesecake to work without eggs, binders ARE very necessary so to substitute them prior to knowing how they react in the context of the recipe is just blasphemy!!! 😆
Back to my client’s dilemma…
She is not an isolated case with regard to switching up rules before the overall process is understood.
For example, I’ve been in coaching for 14 years now. I started as a personal trainer. I found that 80% of the people I met couldn’t get a diet or exercise plan to work. With tons of failed attempts, the truth is, they weren’t willing to follow any of them to a T.
They’d tell me…
“Well, I don’t really like those foods so I figured it would be okay to sub this instead.”
“I’m heavier so I can eat more.”
“I can’t live without my…so I’ll just workout more to balance.”
And so on…and so on…until they just get fed up with trying and seeing zero results.
As a coach, it’s my DUTY to call people out on their bullsh*t. I get the pleasure of having the uncomfortable conversations when clients try to avoid them. We can’t create any sort of change if we just aim to avoid the things we don’t “want” to do in favor of always playing by our own rules.
Even for myself, I didn’t battle obesity for so long because it was just genetic.
And yes, it DOES run in my family…
along with cancer…
heart disease…
depression…
diabetes…
and a whole list of various illnesses.
I realized that I could literally CHANGE my genetic expression by changing my habits!!
Don’t believe me? Look my epigenetics and the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza.
I had to stop making excuses and start following through with ONE plan. No matter how tough it got. No matter how “disconnected” I felt at times. No matter how much I struggled to keep the faith while others fell off.
It was the discipline of trying something full out that allowed me to understand what substitutions I could make AFTER I’d achieved results.
I had to know what hunger vs emotional eating vs boredem cravings vs blatant sabotage eating all felt like.
I had to train myself to workout on days I didn’t want to so I would know why I really resisted…and it was NOT because my body was tired.
I had to learn how to tune into my future self to understand who SHE needed me to be so I could work to calibrate my current beingness with hers.
I did not leave room to deviate until I reached my goal.
WHY is this so important?
Because if you are still at the bottom of the mountain, your deviations will only keep you stuck at the bottom. Based on fear or falling or failing, you’ll look for every reason NOT to climb.
Once you’ve reached the top, your deviations will actually support you in climbing the next mountain.
BIG difference.
If there’s something in life you are not giving your all to, ask yourself:
Why am I keeping myself stuck?
What do I need to commit to in order to be sure I succeed?
From there, don’t give it a second thought. Just go do it!
Rules are necessary when you’re first starting to lead you down the right path. They are like having a tour guide with you to trudge the beaten path. Once you have a grip on the journey, your desire to further your results will keep you moving forward.
It feels far too good to succeed once you’ve hit that goal to just stop there!
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About the author:
Alida is an Intuitive Life Strategist, student of comparative religions, and co-owner of Mind Soul Fit OC in Newport Beach, CA. Her coaching company, Ambassador for Goodness, hosts various workshops on mindfulness, spiritual entrepreneurship, intuitive eating, art therapy, and relationship success. This blog is also a podcast called Wisdom Nuggets and can be found on iTunes, Anchor, Google Play Music, Overcast, Pocketcasts and almost anywhere podcasts can be found!
