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The Cooties Report

The Trials and Observations on Dating from a 20-…no…30-something Dude in San Francisco | twitter: @CootiesReport | email: [email protected]

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Bracketly Ever After (Part 2)

Bracketly Ever After (Part 2)

A Tournament-Style Exercise to Find Out Which Disney Princess Would Get the Final Rose
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MikeMar 27
Featured
Everybody’s Got To Go Through At Least One Heartbreak, Right? Here’s Mine.

Everybody’s Got To Go Through At Least One Heartbreak, Right? Here’s Mine.

An Introduction to The Cooties Report
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MikeFeb 15, 2015
Online Dating: Why it Should Work and The Reasons it Doesn’t

Online Dating: Why it Should Work and The Reasons it Doesn’t

At Least In My Experience
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MikeMar 4, 2015
How to Tell What League You’re In

How to Tell What League You’re In

It’s actually quite simple…
Go to the profile of Mike
MikeMar 26, 2015
About
The Cooties Report
The Cooties Report

The Trials and Observations on Dating from a 20-…no…30-something Dude in San Francisco | twitter: @CootiesReport | email: [email protected]

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To Tell the Person, Or To Let Things Silently Fizzle?

To Tell the Person, Or To Let Things Silently Fizzle?

That is the question I found myself asking recently
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MikeJul 13, 2015
Storytime: That Time I Made Out With A Racist

Storytime: That Time I Made Out With A Racist

In my defense, once I realized she was a racist, I stopped making out with her.
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MikeApr 20, 2015
Dating Without Drinking

Dating Without Drinking

The Cooties Report’s first guest post chronicles the experience of dating sober.
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saaaarsOct 12, 2015
What It’s Like When Your Online Date Doesn’t Look Like Her Photos

What It’s Like When Your Online Date Doesn’t Look Like Her Photos

Expectations can be a bitch.
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MikeNov 4, 2015
On the “Witty Banter” Within Tinder

On the “Witty Banter” Within Tinder

So I was Tinder-texting with this babe the other week.
Go to the profile of Mike
MikeMay 3, 2015
Latest
Bracketly Ever After (Part 1)

Bracketly Ever After (Part 1)

A Tournament-Style Exercise to Find Out Which Disney Princess Would Get the Final Rose
Go to the profile of Mike
MikeMar 19
What It’s Like When Your Date Has Everything You’re Looking For. And More.

What It’s Like When Your Date Has Everything You’re Looking For. And More.

Am I a Bad Person?
Go to the profile of Mike
MikeFeb 16
The Official Holiday Candy Power Rankings

The Official Holiday Candy Power Rankings

Alternate title: I’ve Got to Write SOMETHING on Valentine’s Day, Right?
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MikeFeb 14
He Said, She Said: On New Year’s Eve and Mismatched Feelings

He Said, She Said: On New Year’s Eve and Mismatched Feelings

An Email Exchange Between Mike and Stella J.
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MikeJan 30
The Tinder Drinking Game

The Tinder Drinking Game

A couple weeks ago, I came across an article on Medium about Tinder, and it called for responses, asking for peoples’ experiences with the…
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MikeJan 23
Storytime: ’Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving…

Storytime: ’Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving…

…and we all got folksy, with a night on the town singing karaoke…
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MikeNov 28, 2015
Unpopular Opinion Alert: “Sex and the City” is Overrated

Unpopular Opinion Alert: “Sex and the City” is Overrated

Come at me, bro
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MikeSep 24, 2015
Why I Don’t Hook Up at Weddings

Why I Don’t Hook Up at Weddings

(For the most part)
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MikeAug 30, 2015
Dear Society, Please Have More Parties

Dear Society, Please Have More Parties

5 Reasons Parties Are A Better Nightlife Option Than Bars
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MikeAug 4, 2015
If NFL Analysts Were Talking About The Date I Had Last Week

If NFL Analysts Were Talking About The Date I Had Last Week

You know the voices you hear when you’re thinking? Sometimes mine are of sports broadcast teams.
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MikeJun 21, 2015
Babies: Useless Parasites or Fulfillment of a Greater Life?

Babies: Useless Parasites or Fulfillment of a Greater Life?

One of Our Time’s Great Debates
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MikeMay 18, 2015
Text World Problems

Text World Problems

The anxiety induced by the post-first-date textversation. Really puts you in the metaphorical glass case of emotion.
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MikeApr 6, 2015
Storytime: The Battle for Allison

Storytime: The Battle for Allison

Turns out, it’s actually “Hoes Before Bros”
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MikeMar 10, 2015
Tahoes

Tahoes

A trip to Lake Tahoe with the boys, to search for a good time with the girls (among other things)
Go to the profile of Mike
MikeFeb 25, 2015
About
The Cooties Report
The Cooties Report

The Trials and Observations on Dating from a 20-…no…30-something Dude in San Francisco | twitter: @CootiesReport | email: [email protected]

More information

Followers
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More stories →About The Cooties Report