The Core Message
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The Core Message

很多非母語的人在寫英文時,都忽略這個重要的細節

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash

Ok… So What?

你可能會說 ok,母語的人比較會用短的句子,那又怎樣?句子的長短,跟我寫作的好壞,有關嗎?

台灣案例:Taipei Times Opinion

我們納入開頭的十句來看看:

  1. The TAIEX last month rose above 17,000 points as rallies in steel, shipping and some non-tech stocks offset a weakness in semiconductor and electronics stocks.
  2. While news about a cluster of local COVID-19 infections connected with China Airlines cargo pilots and a hotel in Taoyuan fueled selling pressure early this month and pushed the local stock market into consolidation mode, the daily market turnover in the first two trading sessions of this month hit fresh highs.
  3. Moreover, Taiwan’s stock trading volume last month began to surpass that of Hong Kong for the first time in 15 years, which was beyond most market participants’ expectations.
  4. Taiwan’s daily market turnover exceeding Hong Kong’s might gradually become a new normal from this year, and there are good reasons for this.
  5. First, Hong Kong’s stock market has lost its appeal to foreign investors since China last year imposed national security legislation on the territory, triggering a potential flight of capital and talent.
  6. Second, many wealthy Taiwanese tend to park their overseas funds in Hong Kong, China, Singapore, Switzerland and the US, but government statistics showed that more than 80 percent of funds repatriated by wealthy individuals last year were from Hong Kong, as they saw the political situation in the territory worsen after its self-governance, human rights and freedom of speech were further suppressed.
  7. Third, China’s new NASDAQ-style stock board — the Shanghai Stock Exchange’s STAR board — has emerged as a fast-growing capital markets center for Chinese companies at a time when rising China-US tensions have triggered concerns about their prospects of listing in New York, posing a growing challenge to the Hong Kong stock exchange.
  8. On the other hand, Taiwan’s economic fundamentals, the central bank’s adoption of extraordinary monetary easing and the government’s fiscal policies have fueled continued rallies in the nation’s stock market since last year.
  9. It might be too early to tell how long the consolidation trend might last, as a resurgent COVID-19 outbreak is coloring the global economic outlook, but some insight can be drawn from the stock market:
  10. Taiwan’s GDP grew a larger-than-expected 8.16 percent in the first quarter, as exports and private investment remained healthy.

美國案例:New York Times Opinion

一樣,來看文章最開始的十句:

  1. I miss torturing Liz Cheney.
  2. But it must be said that the petite blonde from Wyoming suddenly seems like a Valkyrie amid halflings.
  3. She is willing to sacrifice her leadership post — and risk her political career — to continue calling out Donald Trump’s Big Lie.
  4. She has decided that, if the price of her job is being as unctuous to Trump as Kevin McCarthy is, it isn’t worth it, because McCarthy is totally disgracing himself.
  5. It has been a dizzying fall for the scion of one of the most powerful political families in the land, a conservative chip off the old block who was once talked about as a comer, someone who could be the first woman president.
  6. How naïve I was to think that Republicans would be eager to change the channel after Trump cost them the Senate and the White House and unleashed a mob on them.
  7. I thought the Donald would evaporate in a poof of orange smoke, ending a supremely screwed-up period of history.
  8. But the loudest mouth is not shutting up.
  9. And Republicans continue to listen, clinging to the idea that the dinosaur is the future.
  10. “We can’t grow without him,” Lindsey Graham said.

Klaus Schwab (德國):

Peter Thiel (美國):

如何變換節奏呢?

Ok fine,看起來真的是有些不同。可是你可能會問:我要怎麼做呢?

原版:

改寫成:

Bonus Exercise

也不妨去看一些國外以文筆著名的刊物,從一個不同的角度來閱讀他們的文章:看句子的長短,以及讀起來的節奏感。

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Andrew Yang

Former presidential speechwriter. Now helping CEOs and founders tell better stories. Co-founder of Presentality