An Acrobat’s Autobiography
Creative Café Prompt
“If I am what I have, and if I lose what I have, then who am I?”
- Erich Fromm
They say that when life gives you lemons, make a lemonade. But I guess in my case, I was given stones. And I had two options: either use them to reach success (see what I did there?) or drown due to their weight.
To begin with, I was a very hyperactive kid and used to love indulging in physical acts — I needed no reason to break into cartwheels, and then later did stuff like coming up with different cannonball styles while swimming.
My parents used to take me to the circus during my holidays, and obviously I fell in love with the gymnastic and contortionist performances. The way they used their body just blew my mind.
When I wasn’t playing, I used to watch gymnastic/contortionist acts either on TV or on DVD tapes. Then I used to imitate the acts, obviously without my parents’ knowledge. We fortunately had a huge garden, so I could perform either there or in my room while ensuring they weren’t at home. And the ropes, the hula hoops, and other stuff I used for my antics were safely hidden before they realised or returned home. I also used to take part in the school’s Annual Days’ performances to show off my skills.
By the age of eleven, I knew my calling — I was going to be an acrobat in the circus. It definitely wasn’t going to be easy to talk to my parents — one a doctor and the other a banker, who dreamed I would follow either of their professions. I didn’t talk about it till I graduated high school, but continued to hone my skills.
I’ll never forget the day I finally spoke about it to my parents. We were having breakfast on a lazy Sunday morning. It was the holidays before I was about to move to the college hostel, for my first year, next month. We were having random conversations and I broke the news as casually and as indirectly as I could. Both were so aghast and shocked at the thought — their only daughter working in the circus — that I had to tell them I was kidding.
Upon commencement of my first year of college, I secretly applied to various circus tour/ entertainment companies while simultaneously studying and working as a waiter at a small café. I couldn’t believe my luck when I got the opportunity to be a part of Johnnyman Circus, who hosted majority of their shows during the seasons’ breaks (especially school and college vacations). However, the pay wasn’t that good — but what the heck! Of course, it meant I didn’t see my parents during my breaks — I was at least being honest that I had a job.
During the time my second year of college was coming to an end, I once found an advertisement which stated that Cirque du Soleil was performing at a venue which was close to our college. My first instinct was to see if I could get in there. It would be a dream come true. The tears did not stop flowing through my eyes at the thought.
I bought the ticket to the show and after it ended, managed to see the show manager. He told me to come for the audition in the coming weekend. On the D-day, I reminded myself to be calm and give my best, after taking a lot of deep breaths. I expected them to tell me what I should do, and was surprised when they told me to show them all that I could. After my audition, they told they’ll get back to me. Although I prayed that I get a chance, I wasn’t keeping my hopes high.
After a few weeks, I almost fainted when I received a letter from them stating that they would be pleased to have me as a part of their company. But I felt it was high time I told my parents about it. They had to know it. Sooner or later.
“Remember ma, when I was kidding that I wanted to be an acrobat in a circus? I wasn’t.”
It was as if all hell broke loose. Although mom was shocked, she later accepted it after realising I wasn’t doing anything illegal to make a living. As for dad, he almost disowned me, before stopping my pocket money.
Being a part of the famed circus company meant I had to leave my studies half-way as it was becoming difficult to manage them and work simultaneously. But I didn’t regret it — I was living my dream and earning enough to support two people (though I was living alone.)
All was going great until the company resorted to layoffs in 2013. I, along with hundreds of other employees (I prefer calling them artistes), was unceremoniously sacked — reason being they were “planning to restructure the organisation along with the restructuring of the profits.”
It was like my life had come to an end. After giving more than of my 20 years to the company, I didn’t know what to do, where to go. That I was blessed to have an acrobatic body even in my 40s was another story, but the uncertainty still loomed heavily.
As I juggled with the thoughts of joining another circus or starting my own business, I decided to go with the latter and started my own classes where I taught acrobatic dances and yoga.
Cut to present, the going was great again until this global pandemic hit us and it was again like a roadblock, not only for me, but for all. I was at loss as to how to conduct my classes, when one of my young students messaged me saying there was no need to panic or feel confused— we could carry on online. And I was eternally grateful to her, while thinking, ‘I should have thought of that before!’.
And so, for me, life has again gained pace, while we still struggle together to find a solution. Yeah, you could call my life a typical underdog Hollywood drama.
But I would like to repeat what I said in the beginning: When life gives you stones instead of lemons, you still have two options: either to use them as stepping stones to success, or drown with their weight.
