
POTUS Plot Twist Revealed
Drumpf was elected on the Bizarro World
In a week filled with plot twists wrapped in surprise revelations and surrounded by shark jumping, Drumpf once again pulled the fattest rabbit from the hat when scientists discovered he isn’t the Drumpf from this world. He is, in fact, the Drumpf from the Bizarro world and has no intention of returning.
Today, acting against advice from every White House advisor, Drumpf flew to Orlando, Florida to address opening crowds at the newest theme park Bizarro Disney World.
The short circuit disabled his on-board translator and for the first time the world heard him speak in his native Bizarro tongue. “Me am President of you and me am making America backward.”
The rally was originally intended by parents and young children eager to ride the “Backwards River Raft,” “Alligator, Leopard and Great White Petting Zoo,” and “Roller Coaster Chicken Ride” where two cars hurtle in opposite directions at more than 200 mph on the same track. They were quickly shoved aside by armed Bikers and Klan members who burned Robert Mueller in effigy while the children cried in the parking lot.
Drumpf was so moved by the display that he thrust his finger toward the burning dummy and shouted, “Burn him up. Burn him quicker.” A short in the public address system interfered with the power supply for his holographic human shell, and the Bizarro Drumpf became visible to all.
The short circuit even disabled his on-board translator and for the first time the world heard him speak in his native Bizarro tongue. “Me am President of you and me am making America backward.”
Base support remains solid
Rather than booing down the not-only-not-white but not-even-human Drumpf, the crowd roared with delight at physical proof their candidate was anti-establishment. When word reached the capitol, however, every GOP lawmaker locked themselves in their private bathrooms and refused to emerge. Even when the Democrats offered to sponsor a bill legalizing Bizarro immigration.
Upon hearing the news, Melania replied, “I can’t tell the difference. They’re both pigs. And I don’t even have to divorce this one.” She packed her bags and left DC for a world cruise of undetermined length paid for with Drumpf’s credit cards.
Asked why he was still defending Drumpf after the “backward” statement, FOX News’ Sean Hannity responded: “America’s gone backward for decades under liberal leadership. So when he says he am making America backward, he means backward backward, or forward to Great Again.”
“America’s gone backward for decades under liberal leadership. So when he says he am making America backward, he means backward backward, or forward to Great Again.”
Members of the press hounded Drumpf as he walked backward, as slowly as possible, to Marine One to escape them. His only comment was, “Lock up me you. Lock up me you.” Chief of Staff John Kelly assured the nation his human holograph would be working by the end of the day.
Astrophysicists not surprised
“We should have seen this coming,” said Drs. Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster of Harvard’s Interplanetary Studies lab. “Drumpf does everything ass backwards, which is exactly what a Bizarro Drumpf would be expected to do.” Seigel and Shuster discovered the Bizarro planet in 1958, although their research was laughed off as comic book fiction until today’s revelations.
“We should have seen this coming,” said Drs. Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster of Harvard’s Interplanetary Studies lab. “Drumpf does everything ass backwards, which is exactly what a Bizarro Drumpf would be expected to do.”

Pressed for an explanation, John Bolton finally revealed that the CIA learned of the switch shortly after the election. While the Russians were experimenting with election interference, they were also experimenting with the space-time continuum. Somehow the two experiments crossed and the Drumpf’s traded places.
When asked if Drumpf would be returning to his home world soon, Bolton admitted it wasn’t likely. Not only was the earth Drumpf unavailable, the Bizarro Drumpf didn’t want to leave.
In the Bizarro world, they elect their worst criminal for President and lock him up at the bottom of their deepest ocean so he can’t do any more damage. In turn, they elevate the planet’s most hated person to God status until their President serves his term. That person was Hillary Clinton, and Bizarro Drumpf has made clear to his staff: “Me am hating that woman and stay far far. Unless for sex.”
Wry noir author Phillip T. Stephens wrote Cigerets, Guns & Beer, Raising Hell, and the Indie Book Award winning Seeing Jesus. Follow him @stephens_pt.