The Creative Cafe
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The Creative Cafe

Photo by Hannah Troupe on Unsplash

So You Want To Own A Cat, Huh? HAHAHAHA

So you are thinking about adopting a cat, huh? You want something that will love you unconditionally, but your life is too busy for the responsibility of owning a dog? If you are really considering adopting a cat, you may want to rethink that because being a cat owner isn’t for the faint of heart. I am a cat “father” to a grey and white tabby named Nyla. Here are some reasons why I think owning a cat is so frustrating.

Imagine unwinding at home after a long, hard day at work. You look at your watch and decide that it’s time for bed. You can’t wait to get under your warm covers and slip into a peaceful sleep. You enter your room and see your cat laying smack dab in the middle of your Queen size bed, relegating you ownership of a small patch of bed space. You want to move her over but you don’t want to be a jerk by disturbing her sleep. That is just one annoying example of a cat’s selfishness. Trust me, there are PLENTY more examples but I want to keep this post short. Just know, cats only care about one thing and that’s themselves.

There is nothing more scarier than being startled awake in the middle of the night to the sound of your cat retching up a hair ball and you have mere seconds to kick her off your bed before she vomits on it. If you don’t stay vigilant, you will be starting your day off by cleaning up damp hair ball vomit off your comforter. I’m proud to say that my reflexes have not failed me YET in this department. If your potential cat is like my cat, then be prepared to clean up hair balls all around your living space about once every three weeks.

It is common knowledge that cats love scratching things, especially furniture. But cats love to scratch their owners as well. A cat will scratch you when they are hungry, they will scratch you when they want to play, they will scratch you when they are bored, they will scratch you when they are annoyed…basically, cats like to scratch. I’ve been scratch so many times, that on occasion, I don’t even notice that I’ve been scratched. There have been plenty of times when I am in the shower and notice a new scratch somewhere on my body and I can’t pinpoint when I was given this love tap.

Cats love to cuddle. Correction, MOST cats love to cuddle. If you have a cuddlier on your hands, he or she will take every opportunity they can to cuddle up to you, just for you to pet them. With my cat, she loves getting massages on the head, behind the ears, and at the base of her tail (WARNING: NEVER TRY TO PET HER ON THE BELLY. SHE WILL MURDER YOU). You may think this doesn’t sound that bad, but give it a few months and you will be sick of giving endless head massages. With cats, anytime not petting them is considered to be time wasted (outside of feeding time of course).

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When a cat is hungry, they will let you know about it no matter what time it is or what you are doing. If they feel that it is feeding time, they will head butt, scratch, and hit their way into a feeding. Yes I said, HIT. One time I was asleep and around 4 AM she starts to scratch me on the arm and head butt me in the face to try to get me to wake up. Apparently on this particular night, my response to her wake up call was not sufficient in her eyes to completely wake me up so she decides to clock me right in the eye with her paws. It felt like I got hit by The Hulk’s fist. I was so mad that I tried to retaliate but this little ninja scampered away, dodging my blind melee attack leaving me fuming in the dark. That jerk.

Cat’s don’t care if they do something bad. You can be mad at them and yell at them, but they won’t show the slightest amount of remorse. To a cat, if you’re mad at something they did wrong, then that’s a you problem. And you know what, they’re probably right.

Do all cats do this? I don’t know. Does my cat do this? Yes. Why does she do this? I have no clue. There is probably some biological reason for this behavior but I don’t care to research it and present it in this post. To make up for that, here is a picture of her in my shorts.

Weirdo.

Again, I don’t know if this is a cat thing or strictly a Nyla thing, but yes, she likes to take dumps when I shower. Whenever I hop in the shower and get a good lather going, the pungent smell of cat feces slowly creeps into my senses. What makes it worst is that she is at the age where her bowel movements smell like a grown person’s deposit. It’s rare if she doesn’t use the bathroom when I’m in the shower. And I know what you are thinking, why don’t you just close the door? My answer to that is, I rather her crap in her litter box then in front of the bathroom door. Its called compromise.

With all that said, if you ask me if I could go back in time and adopt her again, would I? The answer to that question would be HELL YEAH! Now I could give you a whole paragraph about why I love my cat and why adopting one is worth it, but how about I just give you a mini gallery of my cat for your viewing pleasure instead. Enjoy!

Nyla

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