Communicating Communications

My team recently went through an intense, three-hour long reflection period. We learned about each others fears and hopes; what people wished they could change about themselves, what they wish they could change in the group. We put on the table what we knew about each other, who we understood one another to be, and who we thought we could be.

Our team dynamic prior to this was not horrible, but we all knew that there were large holes that needed to be filled. We were still getting to know each other when we started our research, and while we learned a lot about others, we didn’t have much of a chance to become vulnerable in front of our own team.

How are you supposed to communicate efficiently to your team when you don’t even know how to talk to them?

Does my teammate respond best to positive feedback? Or maybe they respond best to constructive critique? Are face-to-face conversations too much? Maybe they are more comfortable typing things out from afar. Are phone calls not enough? Or maybe they are too much? Maybe they ideate better while they are eating. The point is, how are you supposed to communicate efficiently to your team when you don’t even know how to talk to them? We finally got to communicate these things, and even after the formal reflection session, we continued to share ways we would improve as a team.

Reflecting on team feedback

The feedback was honest, hilarious, interesting, and also enlightening. I learned that I eat cereal (I don’t, and I haven’t had cereal in years. This mistaken observation opened up light-hearted conversation after heavy-hearted reflection), and that my team has retained a memory of my little quirks exposed in small talk during work sessions. There is something quite comforting in the knowledge that your team is not just interested in what you have to offer, but also in you as a person.

From that feedback I became proud of myself, but also I realized that moving forward it was important to make myself more vulnerable.

I also learned that apparently I present myself as more put together than I feel I am. From that feedback I became proud of myself, but also I realized that moving forward it was important to make myself more vulnerable. I have always had fear of asking for too much help, and in turn, often times I don’t. I need to become more vulnerable so that my team knows when to offer help when I feel like I should not ask. My team is amazing at offering help, but I think all of us need to work on asking for it.

We are a team full of many cultures, and many backgrounds, but unfortunately none of us are mind-readers.

All in all, I am glad that we finally got to put everything on the table, and just one week later I have seen improvements in our team dynamic. We are a team full of many cultures, and many backgrounds, but unfortunately none of us are mind-readers. What is said and what is done is concrete, but the reasoning and thought process is not. Talk to your team. Talk to your friends. Talk to your lover. Whoever you talk to, try to understand where they are coming from, and where they are trying to go.