Adeva Jane Esparrago: Painter and Spoken Word Poet [TCL 20]
The Creative Life is a mini series where I sit with emerging creatives and seasoned professionals to know and share their stories. They show a side of the creative life that we don’t often see: vulnerability, mistakes made, questions about the way their industries work, and lessons they’ve learned, both the painful and the eureka moments.
We cap off the final episode for this year with Adeva’s story. She and I are co-fellows of the 1st Cagayan de Oro Writers Workshop and members of NAGMAC, a local literary organization that aims to shine much deserved light on North Mindanao poetry, fiction, drama, and creative non-fiction. Adeva’s well-known for her watercolor paintings and spoken word poetry that hit you in the gut that you’ve no choice but to listen and feel.
Let’s begin with your journey. How did you discover the worlds of art and spoken word poetry? Which came first between the two?
I’ve always loved poetry and art. Poetry is one of the reasons why I majored in English. I’ve been drawing since I was a kid and I’ve been writing (albeit not publishing) poetry since high school.
I sort of stumbled upon them, more like happy accidents. As to which came first, I guess art does. When we’re young, we scribble on walls until our parents couldn’t take it anymore and give us actual art materials (they tell us to use those instead of the wall, and scold us if we do otherwise, but we still loved walls as canvases, didn’t we?). I learned to love and appreciate poetry in grade school and high school.
Do you think there is a connection between the two art forms?
Art is fluid. For me, there is a thin line between art and poetry. For one, poetry is a form of art. It paints through words. They are both created using our hands, minds and hearts after all. Various artworks also incorporate art in poetry and poetry in art. There are no limits as to what you can create using both — together or separately.
Who or what inspires you and influences your work?
I am inspired by experiences and people around me. It’s funny because most of my works are, well, bitter. It explores the darkness and desperation of life and love.
Most people think I live that way, or that these are my experiences. The thing is, inspiration can come from anywhere. For me, these can be movies, experiences from family and friends, or even a stray line which catches my sight.
Inspiration can strike suddenly and leave just as fast. It’s important to catch it as it comes. Also, (as I’ve said in one poetry night) I’m not loveless! Just because my poems are sad, it doesn’t mean I am, too (not always, anyway).
Special shoutout to the love of my life — David! Hi! Your name’s here. I hope you’re reading this. Haha.
Also, I am nothing without my mom — Jessica. Hi momma.
On your creative process: What goes into each piece of work?
The creative process is a cruel master. It will demand much from you.
Oftentimes, it will leave you somewhere between jubilation and depression. A lot of emotions, thoughts, ideas, personal preferences, years of hard work, failures and successes are all bottled up in an artwork. If you’re wondering why art is expensive, this is why. We don’t just get these things out of thin air. It’s a product of who we are, it’s not just ‘something’ that we do. A part of us goes into every piece of work.
Do you have a piece of work that you consider particularly significant, that you have an emotional relationship with?
All of my artworks are significant to me, that’s why I have a hard time letting them go.
Recently, we had an art fair in Chingkeetea and I sold some original works. I was screaming inside, but I realized it would be selfish to keep them to myself. Since art can influence, then I’d want to influence as many people as i can — if that means giving a part of me to them, I’d gladly do it. As long as it helps, as long as it can make you feel something, remember something, it’s yours.
As for poetry, I am particularly attached to the poems “Monsters Inside Me,” “Detach” and “Do Not Fall in Love with a Poet” because these are poems I’ve given so much thought to. Plus, they push people beyond their comfort zones and it makes them uncomfortable, or it makes them think — all of which are why I create, write (and speak) to begin with.
We first met through the first Cagayan de Oro Writers Workshop. What impact did it have on you as a writer, and on your work?
The Cagayan de Oro Writers Workshop was the first workshop I’ve been to and it has done a lot for me.
I’ve experienced having my work critiqued by some of the best writers in Mindanao. It’s a truly humbling learning experience. I’ve learned a lot from the panelists and from my fellow writers, and it really got me seriously thinking about the way I write and about what I write.
Writing is fun, true, but good work demands to be edited, revised, edited, again and again. I have to admit, I’m a moody writer. I can’t always write or revise when I’m not up for it. Sometimes I finish poems in one sitting and don’t bother looking at it again until much later. I haven’t paid much attention to this until the workshop. I’ve also met very talented people who I can share my journey with, and I am truly grateful for that opportunity.
What would you say makes a successful spoken poem?
A successful spoken poem portrays the emotions it’s meant to.
Oftentimes, there are beautiful works by very talented poets which go down the drain during poetry nights — not because the poem failed, but because the poet hasn’t gotten the chance to mold it for spoken poetry.
Spoken poetry mixes dramatics and good speaking skills to poems. I’m going to get a bit technical. In communication, there are several components. A speaker, the message through a channel and a receiver. There are also barriers to communication, things which prevent the message from coming through. This can be the syntax of the poem, the pauses, the noise of the audience, the volume, pitch or speed of the speaker.
An effective spoken poem means that the spoken poet has considered all of these components when delivering. For instance, if you have a beautiful poem but you read it too fast or your voice is too soft, the audience, who are the receivers, won’t understand it. There has to be a reconciliation between the sender, the message and the receiver because unless you can communicate your poem properly, you won’t get the message across.
You don’t have to shout, to cry, to overextend yourself to deliver a good spoken poem. You just have to take into consideration that your poem has an audience, thus its dynamics change. I’m a Toastmaster, so I’ve practiced public speaking, and it really helped a lot in my growth as a spoken word poet.
Your paintings and poems are published in both Habi and the Veritas Art and Literary Folio, which is a huge feat in itself. What do you think is key to getting your work accepted and featured in publications, galleries, etc?
The first step is easy — pass your work. If you don’t try, you would never get the chance to be featured or published.
Another thing, manage your expectations. You won’t always get published. Your works WILL get rejected. Not going to sugarcoat it. But this gives you the opportunity to revise your work, figure out what went wrong the first time, and try again. I’ve had more rejections than published works, believe me. But having your work published is worth it in the end. Just don’t get discouraged and keep on creating and submitting. If you don’t get published, move on, revise, try again.
What is your biggest struggle or fear as an artist and poet? More importantly, how are you able to manage?
I’ve always had the fear of rejection. The fear that I will never be good enough for anyone, that I won’t meet people’s expectations. I was such a people-pleaser.
So I changed my mindset and started doing things for myself. Whether people like it or not is no longer my business.
Another thing is writing and painting given a very busy, hectic schedule. I’m a full-time teacher and student, and I juggle roles and responsibilities. I fear that I’m not giving as much time (as I should) to writing and painting. Whenever I can, I catch up on reading, writing and painting in between studying for my exams and checking my students’ exams.
In truth, I have no idea how I manage. The love for art and poetry is strong, so that’s a motivator, for sure.
Lastly, art and poetry are expensive. The materials are expensive, the books, more so. I’ve met a lot of artists who’ve had financial struggles, but we still manage to make it by using what we can when we can.
Many creatives struggle with finishing what they’ve started. What are your best tips to starting and finishing a project?
Take a break. Time off helps you with creative blocks.
Stand up. Go somewhere else. Go to a cafe or go out with your friends. Go on a trip, or a vacation.
Read a book. Read a ton of books.
Do something you don’t usually do.
I know it sounds weird, but exercising helps, too. Mens sana in corpore sano — a sound mind in a sound body. Maybe your body’s demanding movement, too. Don’t force it.
What is the most important thing people should know about you as a creative?
I am not limited by my work. My work frees me.
You can be a teacher and be an artist. You can be a mother and be a poet. You can be anything you want to be. Don’t let the world drag you down.
A creative person does not just belong to himself/ herself. A creative person belongs to the world. The world is much better with art made by artists and poets. This is why we live.
What advice can you give to the young creative starting out?
Be mindful of whose opinions you listen to. Listen to those who suggest and your work will grow. Listen to those who criticize and you will falter.
Don’t be afraid to take risks, but know when to stop. Find ways to make yourself better. Expose yourself to different people, different events.
Go to art exhibits. Go to poetry nights. Attend workshops, submit works. Get rejected. Try again. Lose yourself — or don’t. Either way, you’ll have more material.
Value those around you and know that we are all learning, so keep on encouraging yourself and those around you to keep on creating. The world can use more colors and more words to give it meaning.
What book would you recommend to fellow creatives?
That depends on what you’re looking for. I am particularly captivated by Laura Esquivel, Pablo Neruda and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Noteworthy are Laura Esquivel’s Like Water for Chocolate, Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ One Hundred Years of Solitude and Love in the Time of Cholera and Pablo Neruda’s One Hundred Love Sonnets.
I know it may not be everyone’s taste, but I also find Silence of the Lambs, Red Dragon and Hannibal by Thomas Harris very interesting. The details are vivid and the storyline is gripping.
What is your favorite tool to use when creating work?
I usually use watercolor for my paintings. It’s a very interesting medium, plus you can develop a lot of techniques with it. It’s less expensive as compared to oil paints, and it’s more manageable. However, even if oil paints are challenging i am also quite fond of them, especially when mixed with different media.
How can the community best support you and your work as an artist and writer?
Encouragement. The community often overlooks this. When works aren’t good enough for them, they will step on your confidence and insult you and/or your work.
I’ve had several instances when I was anonymously messaged, criticizing my (art)work. It wasn’t even constructive, mind you. It let me down, and I wasn’t able to paint for weeks. But thanks to good friends and acquaintances, I was able to get back on my feet.
Nothing good ever comes from discouraging an artist from creating or bettering his/ her craft. You don’t gain anything. You just lose another artist. You just lose the possibility of seeing more artworks and hearing more poems.
