Vel Marie Santillan: Writer, Performer, and Community Leader [TCL 14]

The Creative Life is a mini series where I sit with emerging creatives and seasoned professionals to know and share their stories. They show a side of the creative life that we don’t often see: vulnerability, mistakes made, questions about the way their industries work, and lessons they’ve learned, both the painful and the eureka moments.

Vel Marie “Mai” Santillan, as she is most known for, is a poet and the chairperson of Cagayan de Oro City’s very own literary organization, Nagkahiusang Magsusulat sa Cagayan de Oro (NAGMAC). Witty and enthusiastic, she writes both English and Bisaya poetry and works with other local writers to organize literary events.

Let’s begin with your journey. What introduced you to the written word, to poetry, and eventually the founding of NAGMAC?

I started out with nursery rhymes and children’s stories from this certain multicolored encyclopedic collection.

I don’t remember the exact name but I do remember each volume had specific contents like biographies of famous people, short stories, and poems. All of these were written with children in mind. So, you could imagine how that collection became my best friend. (Some friend. I don’t even remember the name.)

My interest in literature started when I was a child but the more intimate appreciation of it happened when I was in high school.

My teacher, Sir Ralph Cecilio, made me appreciate Shakespeare. His close reading of Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, and Macbeth are still with me up to this day.

Sir Ralph died during my senior year in high school. But before he passed on, he left me a list of books to read before I die. It’s full of classics. I’ve read around 30 of it and owned at least 70 books from a list of 200 books.

I have a long way to go.

You know how Pinoy kids get pressured to perform in reunions and other occasions? I savored those moments. I was shy but I also liked the attention. As I grew up, so did that need to perform grew as well. My interest in the performing arts lead me to join choral groups (XUHS Glee Club and Yahweh’s Choir), theater orgs (Dulaang Atenista in XU, LIMA — HIV Awareness Campaign, and Vday Monologues for advocacy theater), and book clubs, which led me to meet talented people.

On Feb 2014, I was invited by Abby James, then a senior AB English student of XU (now NAGMAC’s Director of Logistics), to perform as intermission for their event “Recite Night.” Recite Night was their project for their practicum class. I also volunteered as one of the actors for Vagina Monologues at the time, so I took Abby’s offer as an opportunity to promote the show.

It was also my comeback into the outside world as I had become a recluse for 3 months. On my 21st birthday (November 14, 2013), my vocal trainer, mentor, and dear friend, Puloy Gener died. He was a great influence in my life. He took me out of my comfort zone and encouraged me to be myself. He told me that I should speak up because my voice mattered. I mattered. That’s why his death was such a huge blow in my life. I felt like a limb was severed from my body.

In retrospect, his death was my spark for me to become a catalyst of change. A lot of my friends and acquaintances have always craved for some sort of artistic event in the city. But something happened in Recite Night. I remembered what Kuya Puloy said how change has to start from someone, anyone, really.

So, I posted a status asking friends if there ever was any poetry shows in the city. A friend of mine, Daryl Labial, told me there was one but it died out. The shows were held at Chaibodia Bistro. He knew the owner. I asked my network of friends who wanted to perform for the show. Wham bam kablam.

Two weeks later, we had our first CDO Poetry Night at Chaibodia Bistro. February 28, 2014 will forever be a special date to me.

NAGMAC was formed as an afterthought. I made the NAGMAC Facebook group composed of the audience, poets, and musicians who performed at the show. It was made 24 hours after the show.

Who or what inspires you and/or influences your work?

The thing I noticed from these communities I have was the culture of reading.

In the choir, we had to read lyrics (as well as notes) to understand what the song meant. In theater, we had to closely read scripts so we could portray our characters effectively. In the bookclub, well, we read for pleasure. All of these communities exist because a writer was involved. And writers write because, for me, we want to make sense and enlighten this world.

My influences include Merlie Alunan and Marjorie Evasco. Their gentle and organic poetics draw me into their works. Adonis Durado too with his Cebuano poems. Most of his poems I read are so grounded by realism and Bisaya sensibilities that it is so relatable.

I always make it a point to feature my home, Cagayan de Oro, in any way I can. I’d like to do what Carl Sandburg did to Chicago.

On your creative process: What goes into each poem written? How does the poem reveal itself to you?

My background in theater influenced my process. We were taught that acting is reacting to your environment. So with that mindset, I had to heighten my five senses in order to effectively act on stage. That practice kind of carried over into my writing.

I was also briefly exposed to method acting where you had to essentially empty yourself and let the character fill your body. This process made me relate to inanimate objects. It led me to write one of my favorite poems, “Proben.”

For me, I’m driven by stimuli. When I see or hear something and it remotely reminds me of something in the past, I write about it. A friend of mine pointed out that most of my poems are about displacement and leaving. It’s not surprising as I have abandonment issues.

How does the poem reveal itself? I can’t explain. It’s just there. Kind of like what Michaleangelo Buonarotti said about sculptures. Not that I’m likening myself to Michaelangelo’s genius. I am nowhere near that. But he said something like (not verbatim) “Give me a block of marble and I’ll find the statue in there.”

French poet Paul Valéry observes (and this is a condensed version of his idea) that “a poem is never finished, only abandoned.” When do you know a poem has found its ending?

I learned the concept of framework from Sir Mac Tiu back when I was a fellow to the Davao Writers Workshop.

Framework, as far as I understood it, is this overview of how you want your readers to feel and learn after they’ve read your work.

I’ve used this kind of approach to most of my poems. I know my poem is finished when it has met the effect I have in mind.

On language: how do you decide whether to write a poem in Bisaya or English?

It starts in my head. If I hear the poem in Bisaya, I write it in Bisaya. If it’s in English, I write it in English.

With the poems I’ve written so far, most of my poems set in Cagayan de Oro are in Bisaya. Sometimes, where the poem is set is important because, for me, the language asserts the poem’s sense of place.

Not that I haven’t written English poems about CDO. I have. But I find it interesting that most of these, although set in CDO, are displaced in a way that they are en route to a different place, on a ship, on a car, or a bus.

Do you have a piece that you consider particularly significant, that you have an emotional relationship with?

I have an emotional relationship with all of my poems! Hahaha!

There’s always a part of me that’s embedded in all of them. Having my heart on my sleeves is both a blessing and a curse because I end up showing so much of myself. But for me, that’s part of the process — being generous of myself means my works have more soul.

I also find it lacking when I restrain myself too much. It becomes fake and disconnected. But that’s just me.

There’s this spoken word piece I wrote back when I was trying to get over my ex. It’s entitled “Long Overdue”. And I wrote it as some sort of a dialogue. I always need a partner to perform it. The piece was about how our relationship started and how it got strained because of the distance. (Dah, LDR pa.) It has become a crowd favorite, especially to our audience who have been with us from the start.

I also have “The Art of Being Left Behind” reminiscent of Elizabeth Bishop’s “The Art of Losing”. This poem really shows why I have abandonment issues and how I cope with it.

The Philippines offers writers — poets, novelists, fiction writers, etc — various opportunities to hone their craft via writers workshops. As someone who has attended these workshops, what should an aspiring writer do to make the most out of his or her fellowship?

Make friends with everybody. And I mean everybody — the panelists, your co-fellows, the secretariat, the director, everybody.

Don’t just add them on Facebook. Keep in touch with them. Comment on their posts. Pick their brains when you wrote something. Ask for their feedback.

The workshop doesn’t just provide you with the opportunity to be critiqued by the best in the literary world. It also gives you a community where you get to become each other’s sounding board. And really, companionship goes a long way.

NAGMAC recently celebrated its 2nd year as a literary community. During its infancy, how did you and your colleagues turn it into the org that it is today?

Wow. Up to this day, I’m still in awe at how I came to know and work with these people.

Everybody came with a lot to offer on the table. We’ve built on each other’s initiatives and feedbacks. Our experiences from other organizations were a ton of help, I tell you.

Of course there were some misunderstandings, but we’ve always dealt with them and moved forward.

What is your biggest struggle or fear as a poet or, with regards to NAGMAC, as a community leader? More importantly, how are you able to manage?

The biggest fear I have for NAGMAC is for it to fade out.

A lot of people, not just me, but everybody from the core group, members, our mentors, and partners, put a lot of effort to get to where we are now. And for it to phase out is just worrying.

We’ve heard of literary groups in CDO before us who disintegrated due to personal issues (Not sure how true this is though. I just heard it through the grape vine). That scares me. So it helps that we open up communication lines and deal with misunderstanding ASAP, so people won’t implode and start the beginning of the end.

I also fear I’d follow the fate of Andres Bonifacio. You know, he started the KKK (Kataas-taasang, Kagalang-galangang, Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan) and then he ended up getting assassinated by someone who was a member of it. I started NAGMAC and I might end up getting assassinated by a member. It’s daunting.

What is the most important thing people should know about you as a creative?

There are two aspects of my being creative — with others and by myself.

With others, I love collaborations. I appreciate it so much when people I work with have initiative and offer something on the table. I don’t like being micromanaged though. It makes me feel constrained and limited.

I’m usually by myself when I write. So when I’m writing poems, they always start in my mind. And most of the time, the world is shut off. I am absolutely focused on thinking a certain image or a certain sentence. I practically can’t hear anyone calling me when I’m “in the zone”, so to speak. So if you see me spacing out, that’s me writing the first draft of my poem in my head.

What advice can you give to the young creative starting out?

Identify what you are interested in.

When you do, ask yourself if you’re good at it.

You’re not? Learn the basics and keep practicing.

Are you good now? When you are, ask yourself if you wanna do this for the rest of your life. If you do, well congratulations, you just found your passion.

Hone it. Build on it. You will commit mistakes but that’s part of the process.

Don’t stop. Padayon.

What book would you recommend to fellow creatives?

I recommend Stephen King’s On Writing. It’s his memoir on his journey as a writer, his struggles, his pains, his successes. It’s a fun read. You get to know where he started, how he got his first job. Plus, he gives you tips on writing.

How can the community best support you, your work as a poet, and NAGMAC as an organization?

Later this year, the anthology Sakayang Papel will be released. I’m one of its contributors and translators. Sakayang Papel is a poetry collection on home by young Bisaya writers. It is edited by Cindy Velasquez and Shane Carreon, both extraordinary poets from Cebu. It should be out soon so grab a copy when we launch it. It’s actually the first time I’ll be part of an anthology, so I’m pretty stoked about this.

I’d also like to invite everyone to attend CDO Poetry Night every other month. We’ll be having a show this coming April. We’ll post the announcement through our page.

Oh! Like our page CDO Poetry Night on Facebook for more updates!

NAGMAC has also partnered with the Xavier University English Department. We have two activities in store for the next couple of months.

One is the first ever CDO Writers Workshop which will happen on April 1 to 3 at Xavier University. Stef right here is one of the fellows (woot! woot!). I hope this becomes an annual event. *cross fingers*

We also have Creative Writing Classes. We’re scheduled to have sessions starting on April 30 and will continue on all Saturdays of May at Xavier University. For NAGMAC members, each class is worth 75php. For non-members, each class is worth 100php but you can pay 450php for all sessions.