WASHINGTON, DC — JANUARY 28: With handwritten notes on a legal pad, National Security Advisor John Bolton listens to questions from reporters during a press briefing at the White House on January 28, 2019

X-Ray Analysis of Notepad Reveals Unease with Queer Community

“5,000 troops to Columbia” is not the only thing written on John Bolton’s notepad

The National Organization of Scientific Queers Undertaking Advanced Research of Exciting Stuff (NOSQUARES) has completed their X-Ray analysis of National Security Advisor John Bolton’s notepad. The results come as no surprise to an LGBTQ community already numb from constant Trump White House Administration antagonism.

Using advanced X-Ray crystallography techniques, NOSQUARES was able to detect the impressions made upon the notepad from previously written pages, which have since been torn from the pad.

“Twenty-four pages have already been used from the notepad. Our techniques allow us to see the handwriting from the three most recent pages. The results, while not at all surprising coming from such a vitriolic administration, are still quite alarming,” says Viggo Latriano, Chief NOSQUARE Astrophysicist who consults with NASA on the Chandra X-ray Observatory project.

Page “A” indicates that transgender troops remain in the administration’s crosshairs

Page “2” shows that Donald Trump is not the only elected official being blackmailed by Russia over matters of urea.

Page “C” demonstrates continued efforts by administration officials to sever ties with the queer community.

NOSQUARES is continuing their analysis of administration notepads. Attempts to glean any useful data from Trump’s notepad has so far proven futile.

X-Ray analysis of Trump’s notepad has not yielded any useful information.

If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy:

A Full List of All the Positive Things Donald Trump has Done for the LGBTQ Community as President

The Crêpe is LGBTQ News | Follow us on Twitter | Subscribe to our Newsletter