Music Review: “Love is Love” by Trey Pearson
As a gay Christian, there’s not much presently that speaks to my identity in society. There are a few organizations, some apps that speak from a more progressive stance of Christianity, and several books that talk about queer faith. However, there is next to nothing when it comes to music. So when I heard about the story of Trey Pearson, my interest piqued.
If you’re unfamiliar with Trey, he was the lead singer of the Christian rock band Everyday Sunday for more than fifteen years. Pearson continued to make music after the dissolution of the band. In May 2016, Pearson came out of the closet as a gay man in an interview with (614) Magazine. In the interview, Pearson talked about his struggle with his sexuality and his hesitancy to live openly because he was afraid of how God and the people he loved would think of him. He even got married, and had two children. However, he couldn’t be fully invested as a father and as a child of God if he continued to deny the way in which God made him. So he came out, and has been living as an openly gay man for more than three years. One portion of the interview really stood out to me:
I’m not worried. I’m free. I feel like there is nothing to hide, and there is nothing left to fear. No one can do anything to me, because I have experienced this freedom, and it is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I hope more and more people can find the freedom to be honest with me as I continue to tell my story.
This is powerful because this is exactly how I felt after I came out. I might be ostracized, or people may criticize me, but I am free. Even after his revelation, Pearson continued to write and record music. That’s what musicians do, and it’s the only thing they want to do. It’s how they channel what they’re feeling. Trey was feeling a lot when he released his EP, “Love is Love” in November 2017. It explores his emotions and the depths of joy and sorrow he has felt about his faith and sexuality.
You may be asking yourself, “Jay, why are you talking about an album that came out 20 months ago?” First, I don’t like the tone you’re using(only kidding)…Second, I wasn’t writing this blog 20 months ago. Third, Pearson released a music video for one of his songs, “Hey Jesus” yesterday. Finally, I’m writing about this album because it’s one of the most important works of music I’ve listened to in years. I want to do less of a review, and more of an analysis of this album. I’ll be mostly focusing on the lyrics and tones of the songs, instead of the compositions of the songs. It’s not that I don’t care about the compositions. I am just way more adept at interpreting lyrics than sounds.
Track-by-Track Analysis
“Love is Love” opens with the eponymous track, and with it a perspective that Pearson is starting his journey towards his new open life. He sees the world brighter and more vibrant now that he’s living his truth. It’s a track of exploration and discovery and a great way to start this album. It sets the tone for the rest of the album.
The next track, “Rush”, talks about the feeling about falling for someone quickly. It’s that feeling of trying to figure out how you feel about a person and it truly feels like a rush because the possibilities are endless with that person. There’s a tinge of sadness in this song though, because of the lyrics, “Oh, wish I never had to fade, but summertime never stays”. He knows that “summer love” exists for a reason, and that quickly-formed infatuation will eventually fade.
I would feel this way when I first came out. Going on dates for the first time as a gay man was exhilarating, and I allowed myself to dream about what could be after a first date with a guy. After I did that one too many times, I realized that “summertime never stays” and that long-lasting connections take time to develop.
In the third track, “Don’t Dance”, Pearson addresses people who are critical of his new “lifestyle”. These people may be openly critical or just confused because they’ve never interacted with a gay Christian before. It offers the critic two choices: Have fun with me or leave me alone. It offers a super funny lyric, when Pearson says, “If you think I’m goin’ to hell, don’t dance to my music”. It is a supremely fun song to dance to as well.
“The Good Grief” pivots away from the upbeat sounds of the first three tracks. It’s an incredibly poignant song, because it addresses the impact Pearson’s coming out has made on the people he loves. He doesn’t apologize for coming out, but at the same time, acknowledges what could’ve been. The chorus really speaks into the truth about coming out later in life:
There are things we cannot change
But There is beauty wrapped up in the pain
And all these roads we can’t take back
There are flowers growing through the cracks
It’s the price of love and loss that sets us free
Is this what they call the “good grief”?
When you stay closeted, you feel an indescribable pain in your soul. When you do come out, you are able to see what the hard times have done for you, and how they give you a perspective on life that you wouldn’t have had had you stayed closeted, or had come out at an earlier age. With Pearson, the impact of him coming out had a greater emotional impact on those around him than for someone like me who doesn’t have a family of their own. His coming out led to a divorce and having to parent as a single father. While his now ex-wife is very supportive of him, it still had to be a tough adjustment for the whole family. That’s why it’s a good grief, or even a necessary grief. A beautiful and sad song.
The next song, “Hey Jesus” is BY FAR my favorite song on the whole album. When I heard it for the first time, I wept. It was one of those cries where I had to pull off to the side of the road to compose myself. It felt like Pearson wrote lyrics that came from my soul. I’m positive that I’m not the only one that’s felt this way, too. It’s raw, unfiltered, and an honest look at the internal dialogue of someone struggling with their faith and sexuality.
I never thought I could be happy, or fall in love, or get married. I thought I was doomed. You can feel the pain and longing in Pearson’s voice. I not only cry for myself when I hear this song, I cry for him because I empathize with his struggle. Pearson released a video for this song yesterday, and I urge you to watch it as well. I’ve attached it below. This is perhaps one of my favorite Christian songs I’ve ever listened to. If you ever want to know the struggle gay Christians go through, please listen to this song.
“Silver Horizon” talks about the pain that someone deals with when they’re surviving the stress of with their faith and sexuality. Pearson talks about not only surviving, but thriving after the “dark nights”. He sees the silver horizon, and seeing someone he loves and cares for waiting on the other side. This idea is touched on in “The Good Grief”, but this song focuses on the positive aspects of having to claw through the pain, uncertainty, and struggles of coming to terms with yourself. This was the first song released from the album, and the music video for this song showed the first same-sex kiss in a Christian video.
The final song of the album, “A-Good-Grief (Part Two)”, is a letter to his ex-wife. You hear the love that Pearson had, and still has for her. Tinges of pain and regret are present in the lyrics:
Baby you’re gone and I miss you
Even though I know I wasn’t good for you
It’s a good, good grief
It’s a good, good grief
This song sounds like an inner monologue or the words he wishes he could say, but knows it for the best to leave them silent.
This album mixes a blend of exuberance and sadness. It’s indicative of the queer Christian experience. We experience joy at living our truest selves. We also experience sadness at what could’ve been, and grief and despair because of outsiders dictating how we should live our lives. The tone from one track to the next often quickly switches tones because that’s how I feel. One day(or hour, or minute) I’m feeling great, but the next I’m full of despair. I strongly urge you to listen to this album, because Pearson writes and sings the words I didn’t know how to convey.
