Low Effort E3 2017 Predictions

2017 is weird and this E3 will be different.

Bethesda, a company with a track record for spending years and years on all of their projects, has released all of the games they announced at last year’s E3. Microsoft and Sony are out of sync for the first time in a while with Sony focusing on software and Microsoft going heavy on their new console, “Project Scorpio.” Nintendo has just released a home console that is outselling everything else on the market. Zelda feels new; Mass Effect is bad; and Mario is one of the most anticipated, freshest games of the year. Everything you know is wrong.

In this brave new world, is there any foundation to stand on? Are there any certainties? Maybe, I dunno. Regardless, here’s a guess.


  1. We will get a release date for Super Mario Odyssey. It will maintain its “Holiday 2017” slot.
  2. We will either not get a release date for Xenoblade 2 or we will get a delayed date. It will not come out in 2017.
  3. At least one Nintendo mobile game will be fully detailed. It will most likely be the previously announced Animal Crossing and Zelda titles.
  4. Virtual Console will be fully announced for Switch. Gamecube will not be available.
  5. Super Smash Bros. for Switch will not be announced.
  6. The release date for the first DLC pack for Breath of the Wild will be announced to be immediately after Nintendo’s Spotlight video.
  7. Confirmations of Netflix, Hulu, and Youtube for Switch will be suspiciously absent.
  8. Retro’s game will not be shown.


  1. Sea of Thieves’ open beta will get a release date.
  2. Crackdown 3 will get a release date.
  3. “Project Scorpio” will get a full name, November release date, and full documentation. The controller and and system itself will be shown.
  4. Critics will agree that the Scorpio looks very powerful and Microsoft will have done a good job showing it off, but the lack of confirmed exclusives will kill some hype.
  5. Sea of Thieves will be the only game Rare brings.
  6. There will be no new Halo or Gears of War titles announced.


  1. The original Spyro games will get a similar treatment to Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy.
  2. God of War will get a release date.
  3. Spider-Man will get a release date.
  4. PS VR will get a large section of the press conference. There will be a few new centerpiece titles for the system and perhaps a price reduction.
  5. Bloodborne 2 is announced.

Odds and Ends

  1. Rocksteady’s new game will be announced, probably at Sony’s conference.
  2. Bethesda… could possibly announce Elder Scrolls 6. Like… maybe. This one’s a bit out there, but I can’t imagine why they’d still have a press conference this year otherwise.
  3. Soul Caliber 6 will emerge.
  4. Kingdom Hearts 3 and Final Fantasy VII Remake will still not be given release dates.
  5. EA will be agreed to have the least exciting press conference while Sony’s will be agreed to have been the most interesting.
  6. Michel Ancel’s WiLD will get a release date.
Like what you read? Give Mitchell F Wolfe a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.