What It’s Like to Know You’ll Be on Antidepressants for Life
The assumption that medication is meant to be used on a short-term basis is potentially harmful
By Danielle Tcholakian
A few years ago, after being on the same medication regimen for depression for several years, I told my doctor I wanted to try to go off of one of my meds. I was taking three at that point and I felt bad about how many medications I was on. She asked if any of them were causing me issues, or if I felt they weren’t working; I said no, but that I was exercising and eating well and felt great, so maybe I was cured! Eventually we compromised, decreasing one of my meds slightly.
Two months later, I was back in her office, crying. Everything had been great and now everything was bad and I didn’t know why. She asked how long I’d been feeling that way, and I guessed about a month or so. She pointed out that we’d decreased one of my medications shortly before I started feeling bad.
At first, I burst out laughing: The problem had a solution; I was so relieved. But then I asked her, am I going to be on medication forever?
I remember her looking at me carefully. She asked if that idea upset me. I immediately said yes. Then she asked why. I didn’t have an answer right away…
