Week 2 Rewind
Daddy Fat Sack and Jamaal Bout Dez Nuts rebound
Good action in Week 2, with 5 of last week’s losers rebounding to win their matchup this week, placing a whopping 10 teams at 1–1. Josh and Tani specifically had a strong bounce-back week, jumping from the Milk Duds to this week’s Sweet Studs. Kurtis and Jason are riding high at 2–0, occupying the top two slots, while Mikey and Kevin are at the bottom looking up hoping to stop their losing skids in Week 3.
Daddy Fat Sack (Josh): 142.76
Jamaal Bout Dez Nuts (Tani): 137.82
Chode Jugglers (Joe): 132.62
Ass-wipes (Orlando): 84.42
Shit Sippers (Jeff): 100.22
Cosby’s Sleepers (Bunger): 102.16
Big Black Zeke (Jason): 126.66 vs Harambes (Marlo): 111.08
Jason got a big 126.66 to 111.08 win against last week’s high scorer Marlo, who fell back down to earth a bit. The win gives Jason a 2–0 record and pushes him into 2nd place, while Marlo falls to 3rd and a record of 1–1. Big Black Zeke was led by Mikey’s wet dream Derek Carr, who scored 30.96 points, and the dominant Arizona DEF, who had 24 points. Harambes had a solid week, with 7 out of 9 players scoring 10+ points, but just couldn’t match up against Big Black Zeke.
Hail Gabbert (Kurtis): 109.14 vs Ass-wipes (Lando): 84.42
Orlando flat lined early and Kurtis’ 109.14 to 84.42 victory was never in doubt. With the win, Kurtis occupies 1st place with a 2–0 record, and Orlando falls to 10th at 1–1. Hail Gabbert had three players score 65% of their point production: Andy Dalton, Kelvin Benjamin, and DeAngelo Williams. The Ass-wipes had a miserable showing, chalking up the lowest point total of the week, and only Fitzgerald and the Denver DEF showed up to play, tallying 18.1 and 26 points, respectively.
Purple People Eaters (Anton): 108.60 vs Cosby’s Sleepers (Bunger): 102.16
Anton was able to survive Monday Night Football this time and hang on for the 108.60 to 102.16 victory over Bunger. Both teams leave Week 2 with a 1–1 record, with Anton settling in 5th place and Bunger right behind him in 6th. Purple People Eaters was able to survive three players scoring under 6 points with a huge performance by Philip Rivers (32.2 points), and the rest of the team all chipping in with 10+ points each. Cosby’s Sleepers had a nearly identical scoring makeup, with Big Ben (26.26 points) leading the way, a couple duds, and solid 10+ point contributions everywhere else.
He Went 2 Jared (Binh): 113.42 vs Shit Sippers(Jeff): 100.22
Binh played keep-away with Jeff all weekend, leading the whole time with nearly parallel game flow, and ultimately ending with a 113.42 to 100.22 victory. Despite the loss, Jeff’s team stays atop Binh in the standings at 9th, with Binh at 11th. He Went 2 Jared was led by Superman Cam, who had the highest player point total of the week with 39.32. The Shit Sippers can thank Latavius Murray for showing up (21.10 points), but can’t say the same to Eli Manning, who had the second lowest starting QB output of the week with only 12.32 points.
Chode Jugglers (Joe): 132.62 vs 2 Gurley’s 1 Cup (JR): 132.00
Nail-biter of the week goes the Joe, who needed every point down to the decimal to take down JR 132.62 to 132.00. JR got his points early, and had to watch as Joe crept closer and closer until taking the W. The victory places Joe in 4th, with JR slipping to 7th. Matt Forte led the way for The Chode Jugglers with 29.90 points, and had 6 other players score 10+. For 2 Gurley’s 1 Cup, they had a couple of 20 point scorers in Nuk Hopkins (21.30) and Eric Decker (23.6).
Daddy Fat Sack (Josh): 142.76 vs CephaloScorin (Kevin): 117.82
Josh wasted no time rebounding from last week to claim the highest point total of Week 2 and a 142.76 to 117.82 victory over Kevin. The win moves Josh to 1–1 and the 8th spot, and Kevin falls to 13th at 0–2. You don’t get to 142 points without contributions across the board, but Daddy Fat Sack was led particularly by Ryan Tannehill (26.56) and rookie Corey Coleman (24.4). On the other side, CephaloScorin also had two 20 point scorers in sophomores Marcus Mariota (21.12) and Melvin Gordon (22.00).
Jamaal Bout Dez Nuts (Tani): 137.82 vs Handcuffs (Mikey): 106.66
Mikey traded LeGarrette Blount to Tani and Blount proceeded to scorch his former team for 20.30 points, leading Tani to a 137.82 to 106.66 victory. The victory saves Tani from an 0–2 start, but only bumped him to 12th in the standings. Mikey was not spared an 0–2 record, and is last at 14th. Other than Blount, Jamaal Bout Dez Nuts was led by Carson Palmer (30.32) and Greg Olssen (21.2). The Handcuffs had a much more respectable showing after last week, and was also led by his QB and TE, with Bortles scoring 24.06 and Bennett scoring 20.4.